Climb a Little Higher, Fall a Little Harder
by sunshine-melodi
Summary: We build walls to protect ourselves from the onslaught of the world around us. And sometimes, all it takes is one thing-one person-to slip through the cracks and send those walls crumbling down. Gintoki x Hijikata
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama.

Author's Notes: I'd like to thank the wonderful CucumberKun (www fanfiction net/u/807207/CucumberKun) for being so kind as to beta this fic for me.

And so, I'm back. It's been many years since I've written a fic so I'm not going to lie, I'm a little rusty. For those of you wondering about my other fics, I am trying to re-inpsire myself to finish at least Sunlight. It's so close.

Also, this is my absolute first Gintama fic. I'm still catching up with the anime and I don't read the manga yet so please forgive any mistakes. I also took a few liberties in regards to the setting and some aspects of the characters. I tried to keep as IC as I possibly could.

I had a lot of fun writing this and I do hope you like it. This fic is quite short but it's complete. I will probably update weekly to give me time to write a second part. That's my goal anyways.

So here we go…

Warnings: None

Chapter 01 – Never Interrupt A Man Asleep Or You Might Lose Your Head

The forest was completely silent. It was late spring and the trees were covered with thick, green foliage. Wherever the sunlight broke through the canopy, patches of flowers could be found blooming, the blossoms reaching up towards the warm light. The air contained a calming aroma of conifers, the sharp scent of maple and cottonwood, and a hint of the flora.

The continuous trickling sound of the small creek nearby was the only sound Hijikata Toushirou could hear right now. There were no birds or other animals in the area. There seemed to be nothing but the forest and the calming whisper of the creek. He wasn't exactly sure why animals did not venture into this area but he could never find the energy to care. Perhaps they were just not around while he was here. Not that it mattered anyways because he had decided to claim this sanctuary as his own. Anything that can bring a man peace is something worth staking for one's own.

Now, eighteen years old, Hijikata returned to this place any chance he could get even after he had left his brother's home all those years ago. He preferred solitude as opposed to the noisy, bustling Hijikata household. Despite his brother taking him in after their father died, Hijikata always felt as though he was not entirely welcome there. His other siblings were not as cordial as Tamegoro was. Hijikata knew very well why exactly they treated him as such. He was his father's bastard after all.

The black-haired man closed his eyes and took a deep breath. The air was so clear here. It calmed his inner turmoil. He had found this place by chance half a year prior to his leaving Tamegoro's. After a heated argument with an older sister that Tamegoro could not placate, Hijikata took off. He walked and walked for hours until he found himself within this untouched grove up within the mountains. He eventually figured out it was approximately a three hour walk from his home after several failed attempts to find it again. When Hijikata settled in Bushuu, he found that this place was now quite a bit closer and took much less time to get to than it had been when he was living at the Hijikata home.

Hijikata was certain it was possible that no other person would be able to find this hidden grove within the mountains. In the years since he'd been coming here, he had never come across another person.

That is…until now.

Hijikata froze, his good mood suddenly gone with the soft breeze that gently caressed his long black hair. There, sitting on _his_ spot under _his_ favourite tree was a man that looked about his own age if not then slightly older. The man appeared to be sleeping giving Hijikata an opportunity to study the fool before he decided to dispose of him. And by dispose, he meant beat the shit out of and kick his ass out of the grove.

The most notable feature was the stranger's silvery white, seemingly unkempt and naturally wavy hair. _A natural perm,_ Hijikata thought with distaste. A loose white tie appeared to be a meagre attempt to keep the unruly hair in check and more than likely out of the man's eyes.

The stranger was leaning against the tree with his head resting against his shoulder. One leg was stretched out while the other was bent up so that it supported his arm. He was wearing slim fitting grey hakama over a similarly grey nagajuban. His haori was white which contrasted the black tabi over the bottom of his hakama.

Hijikata could see that this man was obviously a fighter. A samurai to be more specific. He could see the black sheath holding a katana within arm's reach of the man. An idle thought crossed Hijikata's mind as he studied the sleeping stranger. Could this man be formidable enough to challenge? He wasn't so sure considering how open he had left himself just sitting there sleeping like an idiot.

Rather than risk it, Hijikata decided to wait until the white stranger woke up before kicking his ass out of his sanctuary.

Almost an hour must have gone by before the stranger even began to stir. There was a moment Hijikata thought maybe the man was dead. However, upon closer inspection, he could see the gentle rise and fall of the stranger's chest.

The last of Hijikata Toushirou's patience ran out when the stranger started to snore louder. So much for beginning to wake up. Annoyed, Hijikata got up and stormed over to the man, grabbing his haori into his tightly balled fist and proceeded to shake the man.

"Oi! Get your ass up!" Now, Hijikata was not one to lose his self-control like this but for some reason, this silver haired man's entire existence within his secret grove and on _his_ spot pissed him off.

It happened in an instant. Hijikata did not even see it coming. A strong hand grabbed his wrist as his feet were kicked out from underneath him. He landed hard onto his back and the air was pushed from his lungs as he felt a heavy weight press onto his abdomen, his free arm held in place by what he figured was the other man's knee. The hand still holding onto his wrist forced his arm down to the ground above his head. Hijikata could feel the cold steel of a blade pressing into his neck as he sucked in some much needed air.

"Yo," a deep voice murmured above him.

Hijikata looked up into deep, almost menacingly, red eyes. He watched as they studied him, the white stranger determining if the black haired man was a threat to him. And Hijikata could do nothing but glare up at him in defiance. It bothered him to no end that some half asleep ronin samurai knocked him on his ass and had him completely subdued.

Hijikata could see the red eyes begin to soften and he presumed the stranger deemed him harmless. But that isn't what got Hijikata's blood boiling. It was that final look of disinterest as the silver-haired man left him lying there on the ground.

 _What the fuck just happened?_

Hijikata's gaze followed the man back to where he had been sleeping. The white stranger sat down again and glanced at Hijikata's prone form before stretching his neck to one side.

Then he spoke.

"I think I slept funny. Got a kink in my neck," the stranger grumbled, "Oi! Are you going to get up? Can you rub my neck for me? You'd be doing me a big favour." Hijikata could swear he heard the man grumble, "You're no woman but close enough."

Now, if Hijikata were a man of emotion, he'd be gaping like a fool at the idiot before him. Fortunately, he had somewhat mastered keeping his cool. His pride would not allow this white-haired samurai to rile him up any more than he already had. But, despite his pride, Hijikata could feel a slight tick in his eyebrows at the questions sent his way. How dare he ask such a thing?

Hijikata sat up as gracefully as he could before speaking, "You're trespassing." Finally. Finally words came to him. He needed to get this guy out of his sanctuary as soon as possible.

"Hah? What do you mean?" the stranger looked at him flatly.

The silver haired man had no facial expressions whatsoever maybe except for that dead fish look. It made it difficult for Hijikata to read him. This fact was somewhat unnerving because he was very adept at reading others. That skill alone is what kept him alive this long even within his own home.

Hijikata sighed. Despite the man being able to catch him so off guard, the white-haired man was still an idiot. More specifically, Hijikata couldn't stand him.

He was certain it was that stupid look on the stranger's face.

"You're in my spot," Hijikata said through gritted teeth. He knew he had lost his composure and failed to hide his displeasure at the fact but the guy was just not getting it.

He waited as the white-haired fool continued to look at him dumbly until realization suddenly dawned on him.

"Oh," he grunted as he pushed himself up and over to free up Hijikata's self-proclaimed spot he'd been sitting on.

"It's still warm," the stranger gestured toward the free space with a lazy grin.

Seriously? Hijikata all but rolled his eyes. He was fuming now. How dense could this guy be?

"You need to leave." There. That was direct and Hijikata was beyond politely sending the man off.

His only response was the samurai shrugging before he spoke again, "You seem a little uptight."

That was it.

"You're in my fucking spot, asshole!" Hijikata seethed.

"And it's a nice spot. I appreciate you letting me borrow it for a nap."

"I want you to leave."

"Now where's the fun in that? We just met. Oh! Right. Sakata Gintoki."

"Excuse me?" Hijikata was slightly revolted when the samurai began to pick his nose. More so when the man flicked it off to the side somewhere.

"My name. It's Sakata Gintoki," a look Hijikata could not decipher flashed across the man's face as he continued, "But you can call me Gin-san if you want. Or Gin-chan has a nice ring to it."

What little patience Hijikata had managed to hold on to was now entirely gone. This fucking fool had the audacity to, of all the places in this grove, sit in his spot and then proceed to insult him further with his forwardness.

Hijikata grabbed his sword and was just about to unsheathe it when he found he couldn't even pull it out. Puzzled, he glanced at his katana and saw that it was being held in place by the tip of the Gintoki's sheathed sword. He hadn't even seen him move. The silver haired man wasn't looking at him and for some reason that made Hijikata angrier.

"I'm not here to fight," Gintoki relinquished his hold on Hijikata's sword, "Just passing through and needed to rest a bit. There's no need for that." He gestured towards Hijikata's katana.

Hijikata could feel some of his anger ebb as he withdrew his hand from his sword. He inwardly berated himself for getting so worked up over nothing. It was so unlike him to allow another person, a stranger no less, rile him up.

"Hijikata Toushirou," he introduced himself as he nodded at Gintoki.

Gintoki nodded in return and patted the spot beside him, "Best seat in the house. Had me a pretty decent nap there, Toushi-kun."

Hijikata stiffened. He absolutely did not like how the silver-haired man said his name. The fact he said it so casually irked him to no end.

Hijikata, as calmly as he could, replied, "You may not call me Toushi-kun." His voice hardened as he reiterated the overly familiar designation.

"Eh? But it's got a nice ring to it, no?" Gintoki raised his eyebrows in question, "It suits you."

"You are being far too familiar, bastard," Hijikata glared at the silver-haired man, his hand moving towards the hilt of his katana once again.

"I didn't take you for such a priss but if you say so," Gintoki shrugged, "I'd prefer it if you call me Gin-san. I was thinking maybe Gin-chan but if you're going to be so formal, Gin-san it is."

Hijikata visibly flinched. What the hell was wrong with this guy? His annoyance prevented him from catching the glint of mirth within Gintoki's expression. If he had, he'd notice that the other samurai was teasing him.

The moment Hijikata did notice, however, his decision was made. The fool was going to die.

With great ease, Hijikata drew his sword and pointed it at the silver samurai beneath him, "Your words have sealed your fate, bastard," Hijikata seethed.

Gintoki shook his head as he pushed himself up from the ground, "I didn't want to fight today but if you insist."

When he glanced up at Hijikata, the black-haired man was taken slightly aback by the intent within those red depths. Gintoki was going to get serious. And very quickly Hijikata noted as he barely had time to lift his sword to defend himself before the silver samurai was upon him. He had heard the clash of metal before he had even seen it.

Gintoki was pushing forward causing Hijikata to step back with the amount of force being exerted on him. He could not see his opponent's eyes but he did see the white-haired man grin as he relinquished the pressure on their swords just enough to knock Hijikata's blade back slightly giving him time to twist and bump his right arm to the left. The movement also permitted Gintoki to swing his left knee up into Hijikata's side.

The black-haired man grunted from the impact but he was no amateur. The direction Gintoki had pushed his arm had allowed him to reel his sword back towards his opponent twisting his body nearly 180 degrees to face him again. There was another loud clang of metal on metal when their swords met. Gintoki was holding the back edge of his katana with his free hand over his shoulder as leverage against the force of Hijikata's impact.

Gintoki grinned mischievously and forced Hijikata's sword up. The move was risky as the black-haired man's blade just nicked Gintoki's unruly hair but it gave him the opportunity he needed to hit the back of Hijikata's hand with the hilt of his sword causing the man to release his grip on his weapon.

Hijikata's eyes widened as watched his katana fall to the ground. He didn't even move to catch it as it fell because he felt one of Gintoki's hands on his sword arm and the point of Gintoki's blade pressing into the base of his spine.

"So you're not just a pretty face," Gintoki commented idly.

Hijikata flashed a glare at the man, "Just end it." It bothered him to no end he had lost his own challenge. This swordsman standing beside him was far more skilled than he was and it gnawed at his pride. He hadn't met someone of this calibre until now and he felt he didn't deserve any mercy.

He was surprised when the hold on his hand was yielded and Gintoki's sword was withdrawn. Hijikata looked over at the other man to see him studying him. The white-haired man must have understood the questioning look.

"Like I said, I didn't come here to fight," Gintoki spoke as he sheathed his sword within its scabbard, "You're not that bad, you know?"

"Why?" Was all Hijikata could say.

Gintoki shrugged his shoulders, "There's no need to kill, don't you think?" He said as he sat down _beside_ Hijikata's spot.

"It would have been an honourable death," the black-haired man said not even bothering to hide the anger in his voice.

"Perhaps," Gintoki said as he calmly observed Hijikata, "but it'd also be a waste."

Hijikata looked inquisitively at the man. He didn't have to voice what he was asking.

"We don't need to prove ourselves with the death of another. This world has enough of that. Our bushido has devolved into mere meaningless killing these days. Many of us have forgotten it's what we protect—what we choose to protect—that matters the most. There is always someone better than you out there. That's a reality. Rather than kneel at my feet and ask for your senseless death, you should think about what it is you choose to protect in this world. Find it and live to protect it," Gintoki spoke seriously as he pointed towards Hijikata's heart.

To say Hijikata was astonished was an understatement. Not ever did he think this man sitting before him could speak so eloquently. He didn't want to admit it but the white-haired man was right.

"Or something like that," Gintoki finished lamely.

Or not.

"Hah?" Hijikata growled out.

Gintoki patted Hijikata's spot beside him again, "Just sit down and take it easy, Hijikata-kun. Gin-san doesn't bite."

Against his better judgment, Hijikata sat in his spot beside Gintoki. He could feel the man beside him shift a bit and he heard a sudden inhalation of breath.

"Ne," Gintoki murmured, "You smell good, Hijikata-kun."

"Shut up," Hijikata grumbled, "Or I'll give you that senseless death you were talking about."

And that was the first day Hijikata Toushirou heard Sakata Gintoki laugh.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama.

Rating: M

Pairing: Gintoki x Hijikata

Author's Notes: So I'm couple days early. I'm taking advantage of the fact I have internet for the moment. Haha. There's no warnings yet.

I'd like to thank the wonderful CucumberKun (www fanfiction net/u/807207/CucumberKun) for being so kind as to beta this fic for me.

Let me know what you think. It helps me know where to improve and such. It'd definitely be greatly appreciated.

Enjoy!

Chapter 02 – What Makes a Good Wife

Hijikata wasn't sure why but when Gintoki had asked him if he could return to the grove he had acquiesced without much thought into the matter. The white-haired natural perm was kind of annoying but Hijikata could not help but be curious about the wayward samurai. They had not talked much after their fight and before they parted ways in the evening Gintoki's presence had become less intrusive.

And Hijikata had accepted that after the endorphins and testosterone wore off. Gintoki's words may also have had a part in his decision as well.

It was past dark when he returned to the dojo. The sky was clear and the bright moonlight had made it easier to navigate without having to figure out his bearings. He'd had a long time to think about what Gintoki had said to him.

 _You should think about what it is you choose to protect in this world. Find it and live to protect it._

He had been driven away by his own family at only eleven years old after taking out the bandits that had hurt Tamegoro. To this day, he knew Tamegoro would not have let that happen but Hijikata could not stand the fearful looks from the rest of his family. Even if he had tried to protect them, they would never accept him.

Hijikata was walking towards his room when he noticed a light on within Kondou's room.

His friend spoke before he could knock, "You can come in, Toushi."

The black-haired man silently slid the door open and greeted his superior with a nod, "Good evening, Kondou-san."

Kondou beamed at the younger man, "We missed you at training today. Needed a day off?"

Hijikata sat down in front of his dojo master, "Went for a walk."

"Must have been a long walk," Kondou commented, "You left before anyone was even up."

Hijikata shrugged, "It takes a while to get there. I was just visiting."

Kondou did not press any further. Since Hijikata had joined their ranks, he had slowly started to understand the silent samurai. Despite his quiet demeanour, it was not difficult to get a rise out of him. Sougo's constant harassment of him was evident enough of that. However, there were times Hijikata would grow distant and leave for a day or two. Kondou would not interfere with whatever it was Hijikata had to do to clear his head. He knew the man would always return.

The brunet grinned at his subordinate and poured some sake into a small, grey ceramic cup offering it to Hijikata, "This'll warm you up. The nights are still cold."

Hijikata took the cup, bringing it to his lips and poured the liquid into his mouth. Kondou never bought expensive stuff but the kind of sake he preferred did the job. He could feel a slight burn down his esophagus and it begin to warm him from the inside.

"You look like you got into a bit of a scuffle," Kondou gestured towards to small bruise on the back of Hijikata's hand as he drank another cup of sake.

The black-haired man turned his hand to study the obvious bruise that had formed over the course of the day. He hadn't noticed it.

"Bumped it on a rock," was all he said as he tucked some of his hair behind his ear.

Kondou grunted is response. There was a long moment of comfortable silence between the two before Kondou spoke again.

"The war is getting closer to Bushuu. Although I don't think it will ever make it this far before it's been resolved. I have been in contact with several government officials in Edo regarding what is to happen once the war is over. They may have something of a job for us once things begin to settle down."

"The Amanto are winning?" Hijikata asked as he accepted more sake from Kondou.

"I think," Kondou began, "to be honest, we were never going to win this war which is why the government has already been having meetings with them. These Amanto are nothing like we've ever faced. And their weapons are extraordinary."

Hijikata nodded, understanding, but the truth did not sit well with him.

"The Joui are putting up a good fight. I hear stories about some of the more prominent samurai there but I don't think it will end well for them. As I see it now, we have two options. Fight and die senselessly or grow and change with the times."

Gintoki's words echoed within Hijikata's mind again.

Kondou was starting to fidget. Hijikata could tell he was bothered by his own words. As a samurai of this country, he had a duty to protect it. Kondou probably felt he had given up before he even started.

"I don't mean it to sound like this," Kondou continued nervously, "I don't even really know why I'm saying it."

"When do we leave?" Hijikata asked catching Kondou off guard.

The black-haired man could see a wave of relief rush over Kondou's features with his words. Again, he thought about what Gintoki had said. Hijikata knew exactly what he had to protect.

"Whenever the war ends. Within the next year, I suppose," Kondou frowned, "A lot of our people died in this war."

"It's like any other war, Kondou-san," Hijikata responded, "We live, we fight, and we die. It's all a matter of how we choose to live and what we choose to fight for. Death is inevitable in the end."

Kondou considered Hijikata's words and chuckled, "I've never heard you speak so philosophically."

Hijikata shrugged and looked away, "It was a good visit."

.oOo.

Hijikata had returned to his grove several times after first meeting Gintoki but the wayward samurai had not been there. It had only been a month so not exactly a lot of time had passed. Hijikata began to doubt the man would ever come back. Not that it really mattered but he'd liked to have crossed swords with the other samurai at least once again.

The days he didn't make the trek to his secret spot, he was training with Kondou and the other students of his dojo. Since his discussion with the older man, Kondou had increased their training regimen. Kondou must be certain they would have something lined up for them in Edo when the time came.

Sougo had become rather curious as to where Hijikata snuck off to every once in a while. The black-haired man would catch the boy following him from time to time but Sougo would never leave the outskirts of Bushuu. The little brat was always on his case for some reason or another. Even if he was Hijikata's sempai, there were some things that fell out of a senpai's reach.

Hijikata glanced back at the boy. His little red eyes widened after he realized he'd been caught and he quickly ducked behind a fence.

"Tell Kondou-san I'll be back by this evening," Hijikata said as he turned around and continued walking. He raised his hand and flicked his wrist once, waving at Sougo.

Hijikata took his time making his way to the grove. He had opted to carry a lunch with him today. The last few times, he had to forage for some food throughout the day that had barely been enough to be comfortable. Today was not going to be like that. Plus, Hijikata would never admit it, he prepared extra just in case.

It was a rather enjoyable walk and summer was just around the corner so it was warm. He could do without the insects but the scenery was pleasant. He passed several small farms before he reached the mountains that rose up and kissed the sky. His grove was located at the edge of a hanging valley that fell low down the mountain.

The familiar path took him along the stream and towards his designated spot. Hijikata paused a moment to close his eyes and absorb the energy of his surroundings. He didn't know if Gintoki was there today but in case he was, he wanted to be able to sense his presence within the silent sanctuary.

Calming himself, Hijikata listened to the area around him. He could hear nothing but the wind rustling the leaves above, occasionally combing his hair and caressing his skin. There was nothing out of the ordinary but like his first meeting with the white-haired man, he hadn't sensed his presence at all.

Satisfied with his little test, Hijikata moved to continue on but a rustling to his left had him frozen in place. Instinctively, he moved his hand closer to the hilt of his katana. He waited for another sign. _Someone_ or something was here but he could not quite discern whom or what. A twig snapped to his right and Hijikata dropped what he was carrying and drew his sword and poised himself in a ready position, waiting for the intruder to make his move.

The wind shifted and he could feel an odd pressure from above. Unconsciously, he brought his sword up to protect himself from the blade aimed for his head. The clash of metal on metal echoed within the grove. Hijikata's attacker landed to his left and Hijikata's deep blue eyes flashed at the familiar red eyes of his opponent.

Gintoki's lips were curled slightly into what Hijikata could only identify as a smirk, "Welcome back."

Once Hijikata determined Gintoki was no longer a threat, he sheathed his sword, "Is that your idea of a welcome?"

Gintoki shrugged as he sheathed his own sword.

"That didn't answer my question," Hijikata muttered.

The white-haired man observed him with an unreadable look before he spoke, "I knew you could handle yourself." Was all he said as he leaned his sword against the tree and sat down, Hijikata noticed immediately, beside Hijikata's self-proclaimed spot.

Hijikata accepted the response. He was not in any particular mood to fight but perhaps one day the silver samurai would spar with him. Hijikata took a moment to study the man again.

Gintoki was maybe perhaps the same size as him, if not slightly broader. He wore the same clothes he had when they first had met but they were somewhat dingy now. Hijikata noticed several stains on the right side and on both sleeves that Gintoki could probably not wash out. There were also a few rips and tears that had been haphazardly mended.

Hijikata could also see that Gintoki looked a little worn out as well. His eyes had small dark circles beneath them and his lazy expression seemed forced. If he really thought about it and really wanted to even admit it, he was certain if Gintoki was not so exhausted, Hijikata would not have even noticed him attacking when he had.

He would never say it aloud but he found he had some measure of respect for the man sitting before him. Hijikata knew now and wholly understood he had a lot of training to do to ensure he became on par or better than Gintoki in the near future.

Rather than admit his inferiority, Hijikata chose to avoid it entirely, "What kind of wife mends and washes your clothes like that?"

One red eye peeked up at him in question, "Who has time for a wife these days? But, oh, a cute little wife would be nice," Gintoki sighed lazily closing his eye again.

"Fair enough. Your clothing is a mess," Hijikata stated as he took a seat beside the other samurai.

"Is Hijikata-kun bothered by Gin-san's appearance?"

"There is nothing wrong with pride in how one looks," Hijikata responded.

"You speak like an old man," Gintoki grunted and waved his hand at Hijikata in a nonchalant manner, "You're too young for talk like that."

Hijikata's eye twitched in annoyance, "You're no older than I am and you act more like an old man than I do."

"Ah, so you admit it, Old Man Hijikata-kun," Gintoki jested, "These aren't the times to be worried about stains and rips and such."

"Do you want to die?" Hijikata seethed.

Gintoki laughed. It was light but Hijikata could tell it was genuine. He wasn't sure but Gintoki did not seem like he relaxed enough to laugh or even jest very often. To be honest, no one really could. Hijikata could not even recall the last time he had been able to laugh like that. The Amanto wars had started before he had even been born. There hadn't been much time to live _happily_ amidst all the chaos within the country. One had to grow up and grow up fast during these wretched times.

"Nah, I see too much death as it is. I don't need to add to it," Gintoki peered over at Hijikata, "Neither do you."

Gintoki had looked away before Hijikata could notice him looking.

"I'm no innocent," Hijikata admitted.

"Never said you were but you're also not a part of this war," Gintoki commented idly.

"What makes you say that?"

"I can tell by your nice, clean smelling and unstained kimono with no rips," Gintoki was eyeing him again, "Unless of course you have a cute little wife at home."

"Who has time for a wife?" Hijikata growled reiterating Gintoki's question. He was beginning to think that he was teasing him.

"Ah, so you are unmarried," Gintoki mused, "I thought maybe you came here to avoid her."

There was a pause before the white-haired man's eyes widened and he gawked at Hijikata who leaned away from him to keep the distance between them.

"Wait. You mean you keep yourself this clean?" Gintoki was sniffing him again.

Hijikata wasn't sure what he became more annoyed with: the fact Gintoki was clearly smelling him or what he was implying.

"A man should be able to take care of himself," Hijikata growled out refusing to feel embarrassed by the white-haired samurai.

"There's no doubt about that," Gintoki finally leaned back against the tree they were sitting under finally giving Hijikata the space he needed.

Hijikata reached over to grab the cloth bag he had been carrying. He noticed Gintoki curiously watching from beside him as he set the bag in his lap and took out the contents. It was a small, double layer bento box and two sets of chopsticks. Hijikata took off the top part of the bento and handed it, as well as a pair of chopsticks, to his companion and kept the bottom portion for himself to eat.

Gintoki's eyes widened in surprised at the proffered meal and accepted it from Hijikata. He opened the lid and peered at food within. It was a very simple donburi meal within, chicken if he wasn't mistaken. It smelled good—sweet—a taste he liked very much.

"Ne, Hijikata-kun," Gintoki finally spoke, "Did you make this?"

"Hn," Hijikata acknowledged as he regarded Gintoki's reaction to the meal.

"You," Gintoki paused, unsure as to whether he should continue but did so anyways, "You'd make a good wife."

Hijikata's eyes widened. He was completely taken aback by the comment. That is _not_ something a man tells another man! Gintoki wanted to die. That could be the only reason he'd say something so stupid. The only thing Hijikata could think to do at this moment of utter humiliation was punch the bastard.

And punch he did. Right on Gintoki's left cheek. With the angle at which he was able to hit the other man, he was unable to add a lot of force but it was enough to catch the fool off guard and knock him slightly sideways. The idiot was taken by surprise but not enough for him to lose his grip on the bento.

"Oi! What the hell was that for?" Gintoki was rubbing his cheek and glaring at the black-haired man.

"What do you think?" Hijikata growled as he took an angry bite of his own donburi.

"Hey now, you didn't even say your thanks for the meal. What kind of self-respecting Japanese man does that?" Gintoki was still rubbing the sore spot on his cheek.

"What kind of self-respecting Japanese man tells another man he'd make a good wife?" Hijikata was glaring daggers at the idiot. Damn it, he was pissed again. How the hell does Gintoki manage to rile him up so much?

The white-haired man ceased rubbing his cheek as realization dawned on him, "Oh!"

"Oh?"

"Yeah, oh!"

"Oh, what?!"

"Oh, I get why you're mad?" Gintoki answered with a question.

"You're an idiot."

"Well what do you expect me to think?" Gintoki asked as he rudely pointed his chopsticks at Hijikata, "You come here smelling all nice and shit, your clothes are well taken care of, and then you bring me lunch that _you_ made."

"What does that have anything to do with _me_ being a good wife?!" Hijikata raised his voice as he continued, "I'm a man."

"A man that cooks, cleans, and smells good," Gintoki pressed his point.

Hijikata paused and thought about what Gintoki had just said….Oh.

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh," Gintoki grumbled, "Thanks for the meal."

The white-haired man finally took a bite of his food. He perked up as the sweet flavour hit his tongue, "It's good."

Hijikata shook his head, his previous anger simmering down some, "You say that like it's a surprise."

"Do I have to make another wife comment?" Gintoki's grinned over at his companion but was disappointed Hijikata didn't take the bait.

"You trying to start a fight?"

"Maybe," the white-haired man shrugged as he continued to eat, "I might just have to keep you after all."

Hijikata refused to give Gintoki any fuel to continue his incessant and slightly offensive banter. If he did, he might end up stabbing the fool with his katana.

They sat in comfortable silence while they finished their meal. Despite Gintoki's brashness, his company was not completely unwelcome to Hijikata. Normally he preferred solitude over being around other people. He had never been much of a people person since he'd been taken in by his brother. It only got worse after he left Tamegoro's. His anti-social tendencies were unsurprising to Kondou when he had shared some of his past with him and the brunet had accepted him into his ranks nonetheless.

Hijikata was grateful for that. He had a place he could call home and people he could call comrades. And they, maybe except for Sougo, accepted him.

Now if only he could accept them.

Hijikata glanced at the man eating beside him and found himself being unable to fathom why exactly he had permitted him to exist within the very small confines of his space. Hijikata refused to make the point that the grove was quite large in retrospect and is more than enough for two people.

Well, he knew exactly why. It just pissed him off that Gintoki had, of all the places to sit, sat in his, Hijikata's, self-proclaimed spot. Hijikata also refused to admit how childish that sounded.

He didn't know Gintoki had noticed his scrutiny until he spoke, "You look like you're thinking too much."

Hijikata blinked, "I'm not."

"You are. See here?" Gintoki put his chopsticks down and reached towards Hijikata's face.

The black-haired man moved his head back to signify that no, he did not want to be touched. However, Gintoki just chuckled at the action and pushed past Hijikata's personal barrier and pressed his thumb between Hijikata's eyebrows. Gintoki snickered again at the black-haired man because his eyes had followed his movement and he ended up cross eyed. When Gintoki deemed it safe to move, he proceeded to rub away the frown that had been plaguing Hijikata's face.

"What do you think you're doing?" Hijikata demanded after the shock of being touched so familiarly by the other man.

"I'm preventing unsightly wrinkles from ruining your pretty face," Gintoki said as a matter of factly.

"Bastard," was all Hijikata said before, once again, his fist connected with Gintoki's cheek.

.oOo.

 _The following fight that ensued lasted for much longer than it should have but both men were too stubborn to call it quits before the other. After the initial punch, Hijikata had straddled the other man and hit him again. Gintoki shoved him to the side to get the upper hand but Hijikata was agile enough to get onto his feet, create a safe distance between them and take a defensive stance._

 _"_ _Not a lot of people can catch me off guard," Gintoki said as though he was proud, "Not bad, Hijikata-kun." Hijikata's name was drawled out._

 _Their swords were left untouched. There seemed to be a silent agreement to keep this little bout weapon free. And that they did as Gintoki took the initiative and charged at Hijikata._

Hijikata rubbed his right cheek as he entered the dojo grounds. It was swollen and would probably bruise. Not that it really mattered. Hijikata was quite impressed with Gintoki's hand-to-hand combat skills. He found the white haired-man's abilities to be more calculated than he had anticipated and it resulted in a very gratifying sparring match.

Hijikata could feel the cuts and bruises on those areas he'd landed—or been thrown—on the ground. The same goes for wherever Gintoki had managed to land a hit. His fighting skills were right on par with his swordsmanship. It took a lot for Hijikata to be impressed by another man's abilities and Gintoki had exceeded his expectations.

Upon reaching his room, Hijikata considered what Gintoki had told him before they parted ways, both a little worse for wear.

 _"_ _Come back in five days."_

Should he? He wasn't sure. He wasn't even sure why he felt any need to see the wayward samurai again. To be honest, the idiot kind of pissed him off but for some reason, Hijikata could relax his demeanour around the white-haired man. He didn't even relax around his fellow students at Kondou's dojo. Even Kondou. Gintoki had this carefree air about him that maybe was a bit too compelling. But maybe that was a good thing. Hijikata didn't really know.

Hijikata entered his room. Instinctively, he reached up and grabbed the bucket of water above him before it could spill. Sougo must have been waiting for him to come home all day. The brat would be asleep by now. Typical kid and his pranks.

The black-haired man slid open his closet and pulled out his futon. He unrolled it and grabbed his blanket and pillow, placing them accordingly onto the futon. He sifted through another compartment in the closet and pulled out a clean kimono. Hijikata undid his tie and slipped out of the battle worn kimono he'd been wearing. He put it in a basket containing other dirty laundry and put on his clean robe. He'd have to bath in the morning if his mess of hair was any indication. The tie had come loose during his little scuffle with Gintoki which resulted in another offensive comment from the silver-haired man. _Asshole._

Despite that, after today, Hijikata was more curious about Gintoki. Maybe they could share an actual conversation next time rather than the resulting bickering and fighting after Gintoki insults him.

Ah. _Next time_. Hijikata smiled a little as he pulled some remnant debris from his hair and slipped under his blanket on his futon. He supposed he'd made his decision.

 _"_ _Come back in five days."_


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama.

Rating: M

Pairing: Gintoki x Hijikata

Warnings: None

Author's Notes: Thank you, CucumberKun (www fanfiction net/u/807202/CucumberKun) for beta-ing this story.

Thank you for the reviews! - hugs –

minha: Thanks for reviewing! I am always worried I take the characters too far on a tangent so it's good to know they're in character. Yes, Gintoki plus a little sexiness is always a good thing. He's fun to write. I hope you like chapter 3 as well.

Things are progressing and we are officially halfway done this story.

I hope everyone enjoys it. Let me know what you think.

Here we go!

Chapter 03 – Beware of Too Much Sake Or You Might Be Mistaken for a Flower

Some things just had a way of not working out. Two of the five days had gone by and Hijikata had not promised to meet up with Gintoki but yet, as he sat in front of Kondou drowning out what the brunet was telling him, he was a little disappointed? He couldn't quite give it a word. Hijikata finished the sake in his cup and set it down to focus on what Kondou was saying to him.

"We need to meet with Matsudaira Katakuriko tomorrow in town. We should be there for a few days," Kondou beamed happily, "If the talks go well, we could end up packing our things and moving to Edo."

"This meeting sounds promising," Hijikata commented as he nodded at Kondou to pour him more sake, "Is it necessary for me to be there?"

"What are you saying, Toushi?" Kondou laughed at him, "Of course you need to be there. I want you to be my second in command. How does that sound?"

The black haired man was taken aback by how easy going Kondou was in regards to him. Of all their comrades currently residing at the dojo, he was most relaxed around Kondou but yet, Hijikata did not even open up completely with the other man. Even so, Kondou trusted him enough to want him to be a second in command for whatever it was he had lined up for them?

Hijikata did not even have to think more about his answer. He looked up from his cup and spoke with a very serious tone, "I would be honoured, Kondou-san."

.oOo.

The next morning was kind of a blur. Kondou had the whole dojo busy. Training was first and foremost, however. On any day designated for training, regardless of who you were, attendance was mandatory. Kondou led the majority of the practices but also had Hijikata lead a few sets. Kondou's training sets were rigorous but Hijikata had heard rumours that the men were calling him 'demon' behind his back due to the exhausting regimens he put them through.

Today, Kondou was leading. He was so excited about the next few days, he must have forgotten to wear clothes. Hijikata could hear Sougo on his right trying to contain his laughter at the older man. Given Sougo's age, Hijikata could forgive his childishness. The other men appeared to be ignoring the fact their leader was nearly naked which was definitely a good thing. They respected Kondou enough to pay no attention to his faults. Despite that, Hijikata made a note to remind their leader to put on some clothes once they were finished.

He was stretching near the fence, away from the others when he felt a presence approach. Judging by the gentle air, it could only be one person.

"You shouldn't be out here when you're not well," Hijikata said without turning around.

"I know," Mitsuba said quietly, "I just came to check on you."

"You should not be risking your health for something so small," Hijikata reprimanded her, "I am fine."

"Hmm," Mitsuba hummed, "You've been rather distant lately. I wanted to talk to you before you left."

Mitsuba sat down on a bench nearby and waited for Hijikata to finish his stretching. He never found her company troublesome. In fact, she had such an unobtrusive presence, he was able to be around her much to the chagrin of Sougo who was so very overprotective of his sickly sister. Hijikata could say he cared for the woman, but he refused to let that go any further than it should.

Hijikata wiped some sweat from his brow with a cloth and took a seat beside her. He observed his comrades finishing up their morning training. He could see Sougo eyeing them warily from across the yard. Maybe glaring would be a better word for it.

"What did you need?" Hijikata got right to the point. He didn't like indirect conversations.

"Oh nothing really," she smiled at him, "Just your company."

"I can't," he began but she interrupted him.

"I know, Hijikata-san," she was still smiling, "Can I ask you something?"

He nodded at her.

"You've been leaving every now and then. Early, before everyone wakes up," she stated.

"Yes," he acknowledged.

"And you've been getting back after everyone's gone to bed."

He knew exactly where she was going with this but he didn't say anything and let her continue to speak.

"Did you meet someone?"

Ah. There it was. As quiet and polite as Mitsuba was, she was still a woman. Hijikata knew how she felt about him. However, he had made his decision about her long ago. With the world the way it was today, it was too uncertain to think he could provide her the happiness she deserved. That was all there was to it.

"What makes you say that?" Hijikata responded.

"Well, you've been a little different as of late. And," she paused, "you were full of bruises and cuts on two occasions after you returned. I don't mean to pry but I'm worried."

"There's nothing to worry about." It was a statement, one that meant to finish the conversation.

Mitsuba could be stubborn though.

"I just thought you may have met someone but I don't understand why you come back injured."

Hijikata did not feel the need to tell her about Gintoki. Well, he'd rather not tell anyone about the other man. He'd met the idiot in his secret grove and he figured he'd have to share more about that place than he'd want to if he explained his fights with Gintoki.

"It's nothing to be concerned about."

Hijikata also didn't want to lie.

"But you did meet someone," she pressed.

"Just a passing samurai. We sparred," Hijikata stood up to leave. He had to get ready to go to town, "You should get some rest."

As he walked across the yard towards the rooms, he could feel her watching him leave. Hijikata did not want to hurt her but loving him would bring her nothing but pain. He couldn't be the man she wanted him to be. He could never be that man and he'd long accepted that.

.oOo.

The walk to town did not take long. Kondou's dojo was not too far from it to begin with. The bustling streets were noisy and Hijikata remembered why he preferred the quiet countryside as opposed to town. It was the late afternoon by the time they reached the inn they would be staying at. It was just Kondou and himself that would be attending the meeting. Sougo had put up a fight about being left behind but to alleviate his anger, Kondou put him in charge of the training. The kid had been ecstatic.

Hijikata opened the sliding door into his room. Kondou's was down the hall a bit. It was simple, but all he really needed for their short stay. They were on the second floor so it was quieter than it would have been on the first floor. Considering the simplicity of the inn, he was surprised to find a small balcony overlooking the garden in the middle of the inn. Hijikata put his small bag of belongings on a small table next to the lantern. He looked around for the closet and opened it once he found it where the futon and blanket was stored. Hijikata tilted his head and contemplated a short nap before their meeting. He supposed they had a few hours to kill before they needed to be at the restaurant.

Decision made, Hijikata pulled out the futon and positioned it in the middle of the floor. He went back for the navy blue blanket and shut the closet door. When he sat down on the futon, Hijikata tugged at the tie in his long, black hair and let it fall free. He wondered if it was getting too long before he covered himself with the blanket and laid down.

As sleep slowly came to him, he pondered whether Gintoki would return to the grove and if it would be okay that he would not be able to meet him. That was his last thought before sleep overcame him.

Hijikata was startled awake by knocking outside his door.

"Toushi! It's almost time to leave. Are you okay?" Kondou spoke through the door.

"I'm fine. Give me a few minutes," Hijikata responded slightly annoyed his voice sounded so hoarse.

The black haired man got up from the futon and took the time to fold his blanket and futon and put them back into the closet. After closing the door, he opened his bag and pulled out another kimono to wear. It was black. There was nothing special about it but it was probably the nicest one he owned and he figured for the occasion, it would be best to wear a nicer garment. He made sure to take a moment to tie his hair up as well.

Hijikata slipped on his sandals and opened the door. Kondou beamed at him and directed him to the stairwell. Hijikata closed the door and followed the brunet.

They left the inn and walked towards the centre of town through ridiculously large throngs of people to a rather large teahouse. Hijikata was trying not to be annoyed with being bumped into by passersby.

"You seem rather tense, Toushi," Kondou commented before they entered the teahouse, "You'll relax soon enough after we get some sake in you."

"This place looks expensive," Hijikata commented as they took their shoes off at the entrance, "Should you really be spending money tonight."

Kondou laughed obnoxiously at his words, "Matsudaira will be taking care of the bill tonight, so drink and eat as much as you want."

An older woman, probably the hostess, was wearing a dark red kimono decorated with yellow waves led them down the hall towards a rather large room with a man standing outside of it. She opened the door for them and bowed as they entered.

"Kondou!" A loud, boisterous voice bellowed from inside.

Hijikata looked in the direction the voice came from and found an older middle aged man. His hair was short and beginning to grey. He was wearing a dark grey kimono and had both his arms wrapped around two geisha who were giggling at the older man.

"Come sit! Have some sake! Hey, hostess! Bring us some more sake! The good stuff!" He shouted as he nuzzled one of the geisha's neck.

Kondou took a seat across from who Hijikata assumed was Matsudaira. Hijikata sat beside the brunet. There were two guards behind Matsudaira and the one at the entrance to the room. Hijikata could only assume there were others throughout the teahouse as well. He hadn't noticed any on their way to the room so perhaps that meant they were well hidden and well trained.

Kondou introduced Hijikata as his second in command which resulted in a lot of sake being poured nearly right after arriving. There was a lot of pointless banter between the older man and Kondou that Hijikata found a little off topic. Matsudaira was trying to offer to get them some girls to spend the night with and Kondou was trying to politely refuse. However, Matsudaira was persistent and refused to accept no for an answer.

He had the two geisha he was with go and find two other girls for Kondou and Hijikata. They giggled between each other as they left the room.

It was then that Matsudaira looked at Hijikata and Kondou seriously.

"That will keep them busy for a bit," he began, "Kondou, you have an idea of what we are here for today?"

"Yes, sir. Toushi here does not but I brought him here to keep him in the loop," Kondou responded.

"Good, good. He must be very trustworthy," Matsudaira spoke as he brought his hand to his chin and studied Hijikata.

"Yes, I trust him with my life," Hijikata did not think he had ever hear Kondou speak so genuinely about him. He had said it so quickly and without thought.

"As you are aware, Kondou, the shogun is in discussions with the Amanto regarding a peaceful ending to this war. Those Amanto bastards have long since broken into our country with all their advanced technologies. Have you seen what they can do?"

"Ah, yes. We have tried to stay out of it," Kondou nodded.

"With this peace treaty, the Amanto will be permitted entry to Japan and her resources. Edo is going to be the hub so it is almost certain that city will grow and it will grow fast if the Amanto provide us with even some of their technology."

Hijikata was slightly surprised at what he was hearing. The shogun had given up? Sure the war was going onto its twentieth year. It had been long enough and Japan had put up a good fight. But to hear that the shogun had finally given up. It would cause a lot of problems amongst the people of Japan to hear such a thing.

"We are going to be needing a special policing force within Edo. It will be government funded and we require a strong leader for it. It seems I will be overseeing the leadership but I won't be directly involved for the most part. My question to you, Kondou, is are you willing to leave Bushuu and run this police force for your country?" Matsudaira asked before continuing, "This goes for you too." He looked at Hijikata.

Kondou didn't say anything at first. Hijikata's eyes widened very slightly as he and Matsudaira waited for him to reply.

"It would be an honour, sir," Kondou grinned as he reached to rub the back of his head, "Toushi?"

Both men were now looking at him. He nodded, "Yes."

"Excellent. We won't get into any more details tonight. The girls should be returning soon," Matsudaira laughed as he poured them more sake, "Let's celebrate!"

Hijikata was not sure how much they'd had to drink before Matsudaira's geisha returned. He was more than a little intoxicated if his swaying and flushed complexion was any indication. He wasn't dizzy and he wasn't ready to pass out yet so he deemed himself only a little more than a little intoxicated. Matsudaira was not lying when he claimed the sake was good.

"Ah! My ladies! You brought some friends! Excellent," Matsudaira was yelling.

Hijikata could see that Matsudaira had had far too much to drink by now as he shamelessly groped the girls as they sat beside him. The black-haired man noticed someone sit beside him as he took another drink from his cup. He set it down and glanced at the woman beside him.

She was tall, maybe his height, but he couldn't exactly tell because he was sitting. It was kind of rare to find a woman that tall. She was wearing a pink kimono that was decorated in white and yellow flowers. Her obi was also yellow which brought out the colour in the flowers that swirled around the sleeves and bottom of the kimono. However, as Hijikata's eyes scanned her face, he was completely distracted by the colour of her hair. It was silver. Or rather, white and shimmered silver when the light caught it. There was this natural wave to it that made it appear, for lack of a better word, fluffy but it was held up, out of her face with a pink flower hair ornament that jingled when she moved.

When their eyes met, Hijikata couldn't believe it. If he had been any less drunk than he was, he would have noticed the recognition swimming within those red depths of the girl's eyes. Unfortunately for him, he had no idea.

All he knew right now was that this woman had white, fluffy hair and red eyes. Hijikata vaguely wondered why a memory of Gintoki flitted through his mind.

Hijikata didn't know he was staring until he heard Matsudaira speak from across the table, "I see you've taken a liking to that one, ne, Toushi-kun."

Hijikata stiffened at his name being spoken in such a manner.

The girl beside him covered her mouth to hide her smile. Hijikata couldn't help himself as he stared at her again. He was certain he looked foolish in doing so but his inebriated state made him susceptible to poor decisions. He should probably leave. He knew this but he couldn't help but watch as the girl poured him another cup of sake.

He completely drowned out the noise around them and blurted out, "Your name?"

The girl looked surprised and glanced at her friend sitting beside Kondou before answering, "Paako."

"Paako-san," Hijikata reiterated. He noted her voice was a little deeper than most women but it didn't really bother him all that much.

It was just the familiarity he felt with her. He rather liked that and he was trying his damnedest not to say so. He could hear Kondou's boisterous laugh far away in the background.

Hijikata tried to keep his silence intact but she would ask him questions about himself and he found himself answering without regard to his privacy. He'd ask her about herself here and there but she had this innate ability to manipulate the conversation and return the topic to him. He was rather impressed by that to be honest. The fact he was drunk was of no importance.

What he did learn was that Paako was only in town for a short while. They travelled from town to town and would work at the teahouses when they needed money. Apparently they were headed to Edo.

"Edo, huh?" Hijikata mused. He contemplated telling her he'd be moving there soon but what little rational part of his brain was left warned him not to.

"Yes. It will be a big change for me," she admitted but said nothing more.

Hijikata did not notice her expression change as she nodded towards her black haired companion who was currently hosting Kondou. Hijikata took another drink and declared far more loudly than he normally would that he was finished. As he went to stand up, he got top heavy and began to fall forward. A hand grasped his arm and tugged him sideways so he didn't fall on the table. Instead, Hijikata toppled to his left and fell right on top of Paako.

It took Hijikata a few moments to collect himself as he shamelessly touched her when he knew he really didn't have to. He felt her body stiffen as his hand grazed her chest. Hijikata noted she was much flatter than her kimono let on.

"Hijikata-san, are you alright," she asked. Hijikata could hear a nervousness in her voice.

Hijikata shook his head in a pointless attempt to shake some sense into himself.

"Ah, yesss. No. Well, yesss. I'm jussst a little drunk," Hijikata groaned when he heard himself slur. He focused on enunciating each word, "Damn it. Should leave now, Paako-san. Sorry."

"It's fine, Hijikata-san," she answered as she tried to help him.

He tried to push himself up and off her but that feeling came back full force now that he was in such close proximity of her. Her smell was so familiar despite the perfume she was wearing.

"Oi, Toushi! Go back to the inn. Get some rest!" Kondou was laughing at his drunken display. He could hear Matsudaira laughing as well.

"Paako-chan, take him back," Matsudaira ordered, "Where are you staying, Kondou?"

"Over at the Ami Inn," was Kondou's answer.

"Really? That little shithole?" Matsudaira exclaimed, "Should have stayed at…"

Hijikata ignored the rest of their conversation and focused on getting himself up and out of there. Paako helped him to stand up and put one of his arms around her shoulders. Now that they were standing, Hijikata was certain they were the same height.

He chuckled, "Tall."

She smiled at him and answered, "Light weight."

The smaller, dark haired girl that was hosting Kondou, touched Paako's kimono before they left and Paako said quietly, "Another time."

This short conversation went completely unnoticed by everyone else in the room.

They made their way out of the teahouse and he guided her back to his inn as best as he could. They had taken a wrong turn twice and Paako ended up having to ask someone for directions to Hijikata's inn.

"You're more troublesome than you let on," Paako commented as they finally made it to the inn.

"You're stronger than you look," was Hijikata's drunken response.

"I'm no delicate flower," Paako admitted as she followed Hijikata's directions to his room.

The stairs were the most difficult obstacle they dealt with during their short trip to the inn. Hijikata almost fell up the stairs once, and down twice. He growled at Paako when she rolled her eyes on the third time.

"I'm no delicate flower either," Hijikata continued their conversation.

She frowned at him, "I never called you a flower."

"I think you think I'm a flower," he muttered suddenly feeling foolish for saying such stupid things.

"That's to be debated," she responded as she slid open the door to this room and helped him inside.

Paako guided Hijikata to sit as she walked towards the closet to pull out the futon and blanket. After setting it up, she looked over at Hijikata and asked, "Are you going to sleep in what you're wearing?"

"Hmm?" he asked dumbly.

"Your kimono. Do you have something else to wear?"

Hijikata could really care less but he waved his hand in the direction of his bag. He watched her as she made her way to the small table and began to look through his belongings. She pulled out a light blue kimono and looked at him in question. He nodded and followed her movements back to him. He idly noted how lithe she was. She walked so fluidly.

"Are you able to stand?" she asked as she stood over him.

Hijikata nodded and slowly pushed himself to stand up. He allowed her to undo the knot holding his kimono closed and slide it off his shoulders and onto the floor. He was wearing nothing but his undergarments and stood there nearly naked in front of this oddly familiar woman he had never met before today.

Hijikata lifted his arm as she began to dress him. The black haired man studied her face as she focused on putting on his clean kimono. Once the sleeves were on, she was able to cross the front over him and tie the small sash to keep it in place. As she stood up, Paako looked at her work proudly.

It was not until she looked Hijikata in the eyes that she faltered. He was standing closer to her. Far too close. He knew this and so did she. Paako bit her lip and it diverted Hijikata's attention to her full, pink stained lips.

Deep blue eyes met fiery red and all sense left Hijikata as he closed the distance between them and mashed their lips together. The kiss itself was not amazing. It was sloppy and out of sync—unpracticed. It was a drunken kiss. Hijikata was all over the place but Paako permitted him to take the lead for now.

It was not until Hijikata showed no sign of improvement that she took control of the situation. She took her hands and placed them on either side of Hijikata's face. Pulling back from the kiss a little and planted small chaste kisses against his lips. She was pleased when Hijikata got the idea and returned each kiss she gave. Paako hummed her approval as she let her right hand drop to Hijikata's hip and kept her other hand on his right cheek sliding it down to his neck to pull him to her.

Slowly, ever so slowly, she opened her mouth and slid her tongue out to graze Hijikata's lips. He groaned and opened his mouth for her to slip inside. She was still moving her lips slowly and he followed suit, completely lost in the feeling of having her tongue inside his mouth. Tentatively, he met her tongue with his own. They danced within his mouth as she deepened the kiss. He wrapped one arm around her waist and gripped her kimono with the other. Her grip on his hip tightened and Hijikata made a note that he liked how strong her hands were.

They were breathless when they finally pulled apart for some air. Their cheeks were flushed, Hijikata's definitely not from the alcohol anymore. He wanted to kiss her again more so now that he got the hang of it. Paako was looking a little nervous now too and Hijikata wanted to kiss her again before she made whatever decision she was trying to make.

He dove in again. This time it was soft and fleeting. Hijikata could no longer smell her perfume. All he could smell was that familiar scent he couldn't place but it only served to fuel his desire as he deepened the kiss, pushing his tongue inside Paako's mouth. They moved their lips together in unison. It was because neither of them would give the other full control of the kiss that they began to battle for dominance.

The once soft and fleeting kiss became demanding and desperate. He had lost what little control he'd taken when he felt her teeth nip his bottom lip. Hijikata found himself against the wall not really knowing how or when Paako had pushed him against it. She kept a small distance between them even though both of them knew that distance would only hinder their objective at this moment. Paako's hands began to wander Hijikata's body. He shivered when she reached the bare skin of his chest and slipped her strong hands under his kimono to explore the lean expanse of his torso.

Hijikata gasped when she grazed his nipple. His own hands found her hips and began to move them up her body. Not once did they break their kissing until she felt him pull at her obi. Instantly, Paako pushed at his chest and broke apart from him. Her eyes were wide and she could barely grasp control of her desire as she studied the ravished man in front of her.

Hijikata was leaning against the wall for support, panting and gazing at her with probably the most wanton expression she'd ever seen on a man. His eyes, half lidded, were of the deepest shade of blue like that of a stormy sea. His hair had fallen out at some point during their activity and hung loosely over his shoulders. Hijikata's lips were red and swollen. She wanted him _now_ but she had to keep herself in check before he noticed too many details about her.

"Why'd you stop?" Hijikata said quietly.

She looked at him playfully, "Because you can barely stand on your own. Maybe you should lie down."

Hijikata nodded and stepped away from the wall. He wasn't sure it was from the alcohol or the mindless kissing they had just finished but he had no strength in his legs anymore. He felt slightly foolish as his knees gave out and he fell to the floor. Hijikata shook his head. It had to be both. He'd never felt anything like how Paako had made him feel just now. It was exhilarating.

He allowed her to help him up and to the futon. There was no way he'd be able to keep up with her at this rate. And it was a shame, he realized, when he rolled his head on her shoulder to press his nose into her wavy hair. He took a deep breath and smiled lazily.

"You smell nice," he mumbled into her air, "Smells familiar."

Paako froze mid step before she chuckled quietly, "Well, it's the first time I've met you."

"I know," Hijikata was frowning now, "Can't figure it out."

"You should rest tonight," she suggested quickly, "You look exhausted."

"Mm, yeah," he agreed as he permitted her to help him down to the futon, "Tired."

Paako managed to get him to the middle of the futon and covered him with the blanket. She was sitting near his shoulders and was just getting up to stand when she felt a tug at her sleeve. He was looking at her with a different kind of expression she couldn't quite decipher. He was making a variety of looks in his drunken haze she'd noticed.

"Don't leave," Hijikata's face flushed a little and he looked to the side.

She smiled at his action, "You probably don't get this drunk often, hm?" Paako sat down again and made herself comfortable beside him.

Hijikata shook his head and mumbled, "Never."

"Well, you're a lot cuter than you let on, Hijikata-san," she said as she ran her fingers through his hair.

He turned his head into her hand and eyed her tiredly. She was so familiar but he couldn't put things together in his current state. Rather than worry about the details he reached up and cupped her face, letting his thumb rub over her cheek before urging her down for another kiss.

It was soft and slow this time when their lips met. Hijikata could feel her smile against his lips when he became more insistent. She kissed him again chastely before kissing his cheek. She placed another on his forehead and one on his nose. Paako found it a little funny and kind of cute he scrunched his nose when she did that.

She kissed his lips again and hummed her appreciation when opened his mouth for her. He let her have complete control of this one. She would have taken it anyways. Their lips moved together as she slid her tongue into his mouth briefly stroking his own tongue before breaking the kiss and pressing several small, chaste kisses along his jaw.

Hijikata responded accordingly and lifted his chin up to give her access. She took a moment to readjust herself before nibbling on his jaw and then moved onto his neck. Hijikata decided he liked having his neck kissed. His whole body shuddered when he felt her nip at his pulse with her teeth and quickly lick the spot with her tongue.

When she found his collar bone, Paako used her teeth again, pleased with how Hijikata was responding to her. Right above there, where Hijikata's neck met his collar bone, she sucked, pulling the blood to the surface and leaving a small, dark mark. One of Hijikata's hands made it to her hair and was holding it tightly in response to her ministrations. She noted, as she pulled away from him, his other hand was gripping the blanket.

Paako eyed her handiwork proudly and pulled away completely from Hijikata. He was panting as he rolled over to put his head on her lap.

"Get to sleep, you," she said as playfully as she could.

She felt rather than saw Hijikata nod into her lap before his breathing slowed and the lulls of sleep finally took over him. She was idly playing with his hair between her fingers and resting her other hand on his back. She waited until she couldn't handle the extra weight on her legs and gently moved Hijikata from her legs to the futon. He grumbled something unintelligible but went right back to sleep.

Paako pushed herself up and let her legs get some blood flow back before she stretched out the kinks in her back and shoulders. She stood over Hijikata for a moment and a cheeky grin she knew would piss off the other man crossed her face.

"You're quite the adorable drunk, Toushi-kun," Paako's voice was no longer soft and lost what little high pitch it had. It was now deeper and a little on the rough side, "Shit, that was close."

Gintoki shook his head. He couldn't believe he'd been able to pull that off. As soon as he came face to face with Hijikata at the teahouse and saw the look of recognition on his darker features, Gintoki was sure he'd been caught. Luckily, the men had already liquored themselves up enough otherwise he was certain Hijikata would have recognized him.

He was both surprised and intrigued by the whole ordeal. What were the odds of running into the surly black haired man in the middle of a job? Unfortunately for himself and Zura, the mission was a complete failure. Gintoki looked down at the sleeping man again as he leaned against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest. He'd have a lot of explaining to do when he returned to the others. Well, he didn't like doing these kinds of things anyways.

Matsudaira had been their target. Word had it that he was involved in the peace treaty that was in the works with the Amanto. He wondered what Hijikata and the other man was doing with him.

A flash of Hijikata panting and blushing in his arms crossed his mind. He'd made some pretty noteworthy noises Gintoki thought. The black-haired man had been so responsive and a little inexperienced which made him all the more attractive. Gintoki was also taken a little aback by the fact that Hijikata had even found Paako appealing enough to pursue. Hijikata was becoming more and more interesting to the silver-haired samurai because he was quite confident it wasn't exactly Paako that Hijikata was attracted to.

Gintoki stepped away from the wall and towards Hijikata. He kneeled down beside the other man to take some of his hair in his hand again, letting it fall through his fingers. He decided he rather liked doing this with Hijikata's hair. Perhaps he could do this the next time he saw him but as himself of course.

He laughed quietly.

There was no way in hell Hijikata would permit that. He'd probably punch Gintoki in the face again.

With that, Gintoki slipped out of the door into the hallways. Once he was outside of the inn, he disappeared into the darkness.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama.

Rating: M

Pairing: Gintoki x Hijikata

Warnings: None

Author's Notes: Thank you, CucumberKun (www fanfiction net/u/807202/CucumberKun) for beta-ing this story.

Thank you for the reviews! - hugs –

thesilentorange: I'm glad you like the story. Keeping the characters in character as much as I can stresses me out but they are super fun to write. I –heart- young and inexperienced Hijikata. He's super adorable. I definitely dig the long hair too. Thank you so much for your feedback! I'm glad you liked my fic on tumblr as well. :)

Two more chapters left. It's almost done. Yay!

I hope everyone enjoys it. Let me know what you think.

Chapter 04 – Sometimes the Walk of Shame Isn't All That Bad

Sleep is one of those requirements of the human body that tended to be taken for granted. That, at least is what Hijikata thought this very moment as those dastardly hangover symptoms began to rouse him from his much desired state of slumber. First it was a persistent stinging just above his temples. Unconsciously, Hijikata reached up to rub at the annoying pain with his fingers. He scrunched his face and took a deep breath before he attempted to open his eyes.

It was too damn bright in the room. He didn't want to open them because it only resulted in more stinging, this time between his eyes.

Sighing in frustration, he grabbed the covers, rolled over to his side and covered his head. One problem solved but it did not help the fact that his body was dehydrated and demanded water.

Now.

Hijikata forced himself to sit up and he glared at the room as though it was its fault he felt like this. He hadn't ever had that much to drink.

He groaned as he finally managed to stand up and look around for water. He mentally berated the inn for being so cheap and not have a pitcher of water on hand in the room. He'd have to venture out and get some.

Hijikata looked down at himself and saw that his kimono was loose and was trying to slip off his right shoulder. He reached over and pulled it up. He undid the knot on his sash and retied it. Hijikata shrugged his shoulders. It was still a little loose but he deemed it acceptable enough to go find some water. He had to dig in his bag for another hair tie. There was no way he was walking in public with his hair in disarray. It was probably a mess but he pulled it back and tied it as best as he could.

A knock on his door caught his attention.

"Toushi?"

It was Kondou.

"You can come in," he frowned at the sound of his voice. It was cracky with sleep and rough with hangover.

He heard Kondou laugh, probably at his voice, as he opened the sliding door.

"You look as bad as you sound, Toushi," the older man announced cheerfully.

 _Much too cheerfully considering how much sake they had_ , Hijikata thought bitterly.

"I brought some water for you. I kind of figured you'd be getting up about now," Kondou said as he poured water into a cup from a pitcher he was carrying.

"Thank you." Hijikata took it gratefully and downed the whole cup in one swig.

Kondou took it from him and refilled it, handing it back for Hijikata to drink again. The cool water rehydrated his dry mouth. He could feel its soothing effect as it made its way down his throat.

When Hijikata finished his third cup, he finally looked over at Kondou and found him staring at him with a strange look. Hijikata tilted his head in question.

"What?"

"You," Kondou paused as if he had to think about how to say whatever he was trying to say, "liked her didn't you?"

"Who?" Hijikata was frowning at him.

"Paako-chan, was it?" Kondo was looking up trying to remember the white haired woman's name.

The black-haired man's eyes widened ever so slightly as flash after flash of memory plagued his mind. White hair. Red, fiery eyes. Strong hands moving over his chest. Lips that were as soft they looked. It all came back. Those lips were both gentle and insistent moving with his own, kissing his face, his jaw, his neck. Hijikata refused. He absolutely refused to permit the flush that he knew was trying to assault his cheeks.

The images kept coming. He remembered how she made him feel with that strange familiarity and her scent. It had been intoxicating.

Hijikata snapped back to reality and kept his face void of emotion.

"What about her?"

"Well, she took you back here," Kondou was rubbing the back of his head nervously trying to question the inevitable but somewhat embarrassed to do so.

"I didn't sleep with her, if that's what you mean," Hijikata looked away as he said that.

"You sure?" Kondou blurted out.

"Eh?"

Kondou glanced sideways then tapped near where his collarbone met his neck, "She left a little reminder."

Hijikata reached up and touched the area by his collarbone. He could feel a slight pressure there. A type of tingling sensation maybe.

He walked over to the mirror hanging on the wall to take a look at it. His eyes widened at the dark purple circular mark not unlike a bruise but most definitely a love bite. He could remember when she left it. Her soft lips kissing his neck down to this spot. He remembered how it felt as she began to suck. It had sent a pleasurable sensation all throughout his body that he rather much enjoyed.

Hijikata did not really know what to say as he rubbed the mark with his fingers.

"We didn't sleep together."

"I'm not lecturing you, Toushi," Kondou laughed at him, "You are free to enjoy the pleasures of life as you please."

"We didn't sleep together," Hijikata reiterated a third time.

"I'm not judging," Kondou raised his hands in defense. He found it a little amusing at how embarrassed the black haired man was getting, "You're young. Enjoy life, Toushi."

Hijikata figured the previous night would be enough experience to last him for a while. He did not, he absolutely did not allow himself to get so out of control like he did the night previous. That woman though. There was something about her. Hijikata halted his train of thought. There was no use pondering over it. He wouldn't see her again. Well, it was very unlikely he would.

"Right," was all Hijikata said and ended that topic, "What happened after I left?"

Kondou snapped back to attention, "Oh! Matsudaira has gone back to Edo. I guess there was word that a growing rebel faction was planning to assassinate him. He didn't want to stay here long."

"So it's safe for him to travel?" Hijikata was uncertain about the logic of the situation.

"He's well protected but being in one place too long gives enemies too much of an opportunity, right?" Kondou was frowning in thought.

"I suppose," Hijikata responded, "Are we headed back then?"

"Ah, yes. Once you're ready to go. I'll leave the water here and wait downstairs for you," Kondou said as he set down the pitcher on the small table and made his way to the door leaving Hijikata alone.

Hijikata waited for the sound of Kondou's steps to diminish as he made his way down the hallway before he returned to look at himself again. He looked like shit to be honest. Even though he managed to get his hair up, it was a mess of tangles and his stupid kimono was still far too loose. Instinctively, he reached up and touched the mark again. The pressure from his fingers made it tingle.

Hijikata had never been marked. Hell, he'd never gotten that far with anyone as he'd done with Paako. It was new and to be honest, he wasn't sure how to analyze the memories that had decided to come back full force now that Kondou was out of the room. The memories were not completely intact he realized. Hijikata had been very drunk at the time so some things were a little hazy.

Well, it was of no use now. Hijikata refused to linger on any what ifs.

He shrugged off his loose kimono and dug through his bag for another one. As he pulled it out, something heavy fell on the floor by his foot. Curious, Hijikata looked down and froze. There, by his left foot, was the pink flower hair piece Paako had been wearing the night before. He reached down and picked it up. It jingled as he did so. He looked at it for a few moments and shook his head. Now what the hell was he going to do with this?

.oOo.

When he and Kondou returned to the dojo, it was the early afternoon. They found Sougo running a training session with the other members in the back yard. Kondou and Hijikata, though he would never voice it, found it amusing to have all those men being ordered around by a brat like Sougo. However, it was impressive that the men listened to him. Despite his age, Sougo was very skilled.

"Oi, Sougo!" Kondou shouted, "Give the guys a break now."

Sougo stopped to look in their direction and nodded, "You heard him!"

There was a hushed sigh of relief amongst the men as they bowed their thanks at Kondou. They looked haggard and exhausted as they made their way towards their rooms. Sougo ran up to Kondou.

"How did the meeting go, sensei?"

Kondou laughed and mussed up his sandy blond hair, "Good, Sougo. We might be leaving here a lot sooner than I thought."

Hijikata left them talking to bring his things to his room. He needed a bath, he'd have to clean his kimono and…he paused his train of thought. They had come home early. He was supposed to meet Gintoki tomorrow. He could go now that they were back. It was definitely something to consider. He would, however, be missing a training day. He might have to bring it up with Kondou in the evening.

Hijikata continued his trek to his room and found Mitsuba waiting for him along the way. She smiled that calming smile she had and welcomed him home.

"You didn't have to wait for me," he stated.

"I don't mind," she replied, "I was wondering how your meeting went."

"Good. We might be leaving soon."

"I see," was all she said before an uncomfortable silence followed. Hijikata knew exactly what she was thinking about and he knew it would be fruitless in the end.

"I need to get some things done," he said when they reached his room, "Please go rest."

Mitsuba nodded and silently made her way down the hall. He watched her disappear around the corner. She was upset and Sougo was going to hate him even more.

.oOo.

Hijikata had not bothered to tell Kondou where he was going. He had just left having gotten everything he needed for today ready the night before. The whole thing with Mitsuba still bothered him and Sougo had been a lot more angry with him than normal that evening. Hijikata didn't want to deal with it all at the moment.

Maybe a good spar is what he needed.

Now if only the silver-haired bastard showed up like he said he would. He better or there'd be hell to pay the next time they met.

The black haired man had left a lot earlier than he normally did. He wanted to be the one that surprised Gintoki this time. Yes, a good fight is what he needed to blow some steam off.

Hijikata tied his bag to his back and opted to run to the grove. It was dark out but the moon and stars lit the path through the canopy of the trees. It was just enough light for him to see where he was going.

The mountain path was a little tricky so he slowed his pace to a walk. He didn't want to get lost in the forest because regardless of how well he knew this area, the likelihood of taking a wrong turn or whatnot was high especially because it was so dark out. Taking his time now, Hijikata managed to find his spot and Gintoki was nowhere in sight. Perfect.

Hijikata climbed the tree and placed his bag on a branch large enough to hold it. He hopped down and looked up in the dark, partly lit canopy for a good place to hide. He didn't want a spot that was too obvious. Gintoki had come at him the second time they met because he'd found an excellent vantage point of the area. There. A large maple branch stuck out into the clearing but had enough foliage around it for cover and looked sturdy enough to sit on.

Hijikata made his way over to the tree and took hold of a lower branch with his right hand and hoisted himself up. He pushed his foot into the base of the tree to project himself upwards and onto the lower branch. Hijikata climbed up three more branches before he reached the one he was looking for. It was approximately four metres off the ground. He figured the only issue would be the sound of the leaves when he leapt off. He was confident enough in his skills for this to be successful but Gintoki was quite formidable. He'd have to time everything to be just right.

Hijikata made himself comfortable against the tree and waited. He could see that the sky was beginning to lighten as the sun began to rise in the east. He didn't know when Gintoki would arrive. He had always been here when Hijikata came later on in the morning. And so he waited.

A stick cracked below and Hijikata's eyes shot open. Shit! When had he fallen asleep? It was daylight now and Hijikata slowly, ever so carefully, shifted his position to get a better look at the forest floor below. He heard quiet footsteps walking through the underbrush but he could not see anyone. And then he heard more footsteps further away and the sound of men talking.

Hijikata did not dare move. There were people other than himself or Gintoki in his grove. Anger burned through his veins at the invasion of space. The black-haired man readjusted himself into a crouching position and placed his right hand on the hilt of his sword, ready to attack.

Until he felt a gentle tap on his shoulder.

Hijikata froze.

He looked over his right shoulder into burning red eyes. The silvery mop of white, wavy hair signified that Gintoki was definitely sitting on the next branch up from his own. How the fuck had he gotten up there without him knowing? The hand that had tapped him was brought up to Gintoki's mouth signaling Hijikata to be silent. He nodded his acquiescence and turned his attention down to the ground where there were several armoured men walking, searching for something.

However, when Hijikata looked closer, he saw that they weren't men at all. _Amanto_. They looked like animals with the body of a man. It was grotesque, like something out of a Hell story. Hijikata had not seen an Amanto before. They smelled too. He scrunched his nose in distaste in an attempt to relate the smell to something—like the rotting smell of a dying, placid lake. They reeked of death.

Realization dawned on Hijikata and he looked back at Gintoki who nodded his understanding of the silent question. Gintoki continued his scrutiny of the Amanto soldiers.

They waited for over an hour after the Amanto had left the clearing before Gintoki deemed it safe to leave their perch. He jumped from the branch to the ground with ease, landing in a wide squat to absorb the impact. Standing, he put his hand up to signal Hijikata not to jump down yet. Hijikata watched him scan their surroundings and take off through the trees. He had to commend the man for his seemingly natural stealth. It was impressive. After five minutes, Gintoki returned and nodded at the black haired man to come down.

Hijikata hopped off the branch and landed in much the same fashion as Gintoki. When he stood, he looked over to the other man.

"What the fuck was that about?" He demanded.

"Not sure," Gintoki shrugged, "I was just minding my own business and those nasties decided it would be a good idea to attack me. I'm an innocent bystander in all of this."

"Right," Hijikata growled, "And you led them right here."

"Is Hijikata-kun mad at Gin-san now?" Gintoki feigned a pout.

"Shut up, idiot," Hijikata glared at the other man but stopped speaking as he looked him over.

Gintoki looked like shit. There was no way he'd had any sleep with circles that dark under his eyes. His clothing was torn and bloody and Hijikata hadn't noticed when they were up in the tree, but he smelled terrible, not unlike those Amanto. He smelled of death. He wondered whose blood was staining the other man's light coloured clothing.

"What the hell happened to you?" Hijikata asked as he continued to study the other man's appearance.

Gintoki waved his hand indifferently, "Just a little scuffle with our Amanto friends that just passed through here."

"Hn. Doesn't look like 'a little,'" Hijikata muttered.

Gintoki looked a little shocked but he instantly replaced it with knowing grin, "Is Hijikata-kun worried about Gin-san?"

"Hah? Of course not," Hijikata said a little too quickly, glaring at the other man for asking such a question, "I wanted to attack you today but you look too incapacitated for me to do anything to you."

Hijikata had no idea what kind of situation he just talked himself into but the look on Gintoki's face told him he'd done something he shouldn't have. Or rather, _said_ something he shouldn't have. The white-haired man approached him slowly with that ridiculously unreadable expression. The only thing signifying Hijikata might be in danger was the overconfident smirk that adorned his face.

He didn't realize he was backing away from the other man until his back hit the rough bark of the large tree behind him. Automatically, Hijikata placed his hand on the hilt of his katana but before he could even begin to withdraw it, Gintoki's strong hand was covering his. The white-haired man leaned forward and rested his forearm on the tree over Hijikata's head.

Then Gintoki spoke in a low, husky voice, "And what did you intend on doing to me?"

His red eyes looked as though they were seeing more than Hijikata ever allowed anyone to see about himself. He'd unconsciously lowered his own defenses and Gintoki's presence was overpowering his ability to build them back up. He felt the white-haired man could see all of the insecurity floating around in his stormy, ocean blue eyes. No, he knew he knew.

"You seem a little lost for words, ne, Hijikata-kun?" Gintoki's gaze was burning into him, searching for something. Hijikata had seen that look before but this is the first time he'd received it from Gintoki to his knowledge.

What the fuck was he doing? Hijikata could feel his cheeks burn and he clenched his eyes shut. He couldn't handle looking at Gintoki's eyes. Why couldn't he move? He wanted to punch the asshole in the face for making feel so…so…vulnerable. No, he was not vulnerable. He was a man. Gintoki was a man. And he was man that was way too far into Hijikata's space.

Before Hijikata could push the other man away, he felt a warm pressure on his shoulder. The hand that was covering his was moved up to his other shoulder, his fingers began to idly play with his black hair. Hijikata opened his eyes to find a smelly white mop of hair in his face. Gintoki's head was resting on his right shoulder.

"You reek," Hijikata stated finally getting a grip on himself.

Gintoki's shoulders shook as he chuckled, "Do you even know how cute you are, Hijikata-kun?"

The black-haired man stiffened when Gintoki turned his head so that his hot breath was brushing against Hijikata's neck.

"Too bad I'm too exhausted."

Hijikata could feel Gintoki's voice as much as he heard it but he was surprised to find the man suddenly went limp and begin to fall to the ground. Hijikata reached around the other samurai's waist and pulled him to himself. Gintoki wasn't exactly heavy but Hijikata was not prepared for the sudden dead weight against him. His knees buckled and they fell to the ground.

Hijikata was still holding Gintoki against him and had to gently unfold his arms to lay him down, taking care not to let his head flop around.

Shit. Now what the hell was he going to do? The idiot had passed out.

Hijikata frowned when he felt another warmth seeping through his kimono where Gintoki had fallen on him. He couldn't tell what exactly it was until he touched the wet spot over his abdomen and examined his hand. It was red. _Blood_. Gintoki was bleeding.

Immediately, Hijikata opened the other man's haori and found a large hole in Gintoki's armour. He carefully undid the ties and pulled the armour off to check out the damage. Whatever the idiot had let hit him had sliced clean through the armour and there was a gash from the outside of his ribs down to just above his hip. He must have lost a lot of blood getting to the grove.

Hijikata mentally berated the fool for letting himself get this bad as he got up to run to his bag. There were some clean cloths and ointment he could use for now on the wound. He'd have to get water from the stream to wash it first. He was certain the water was clean. He'd drank from it enough to know.

He returned to Gintoki and poured water over the wound, using one cloth to dab and wipe the area clean of the blood. Gintoki would need stitches. Hijikata did not have the supplies for that. He needed to get the white-haired man to town or at least to a farm. Hijikata carefully applied some ointment on the wound and wrapped bandages around it. The ointment should slow the bleeding enough for them to get to Bushuu and get the idiot looked at by a doctor.

Hijikata had to make a crude gurney out of two large branches and several smaller ones. He was sure Gintoki wouldn't mind him tearing his haori to use to tie it together. Not that he cared. The bastard better be grateful.

Once the gurney was finished, he placed Gintoki on it and began the toilsome task of dragging the injured man down the mountain. He didn't think he'd be making it back to the dojo anytime soon.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama.

Rating: M

Pairing: Gintoki x Hijikata

Warnings: None

Author's Notes: Thank you, CucumberKun (www fanfiction net/u/807202/CucumberKun) for beta-ing this story.

Thank you for the reviews! - hugs –

thesilentorange: Thank you!

I hope everyone enjoys it. Let me know what you think.

Chapter 05 - The Harder You Try, The Harder You Fall

Hijikata was sitting against a support beam under the roof of a small inn outside of Bushuu. He glanced inside the room he rented. Gintoki was on the futon inside. His breathing was even and the fever he had developed over the day had broken just an hour earlier. Night had fallen and Gintoki was still unconscious.

Rather than drawing attention to them by dragging Gintoki through town, he had chosen to take a side path towards this inn. It was a little more run-down than most but it was more obscure and obscurity is what they needed right now.

He had gone into town to get a doctor to clean and stitch up Gintoki's wound. Fortunately for the white-haired samurai it was only a flesh wound. All of the blood loss was more than likely a result of him running from the Amanto.

The bastard was lucky.

A rustling from inside the room indicated the other man had woken up. Footsteps quietly, and carefully Hijikata noted, padded over the tatami mats towards the door.

"You should be resting," Hijikata said without turning to look at the other man.

"I heal fast," was Gintoki's offhand reply.

"Sure you do," Hijikata responded sarcastically.

He saw Gintoki sit beside him out of the corner of his eye. He let his legs hang over the edge, placing his hands behind him to lean on.

"Ah, I feel like shit," Gintoki mused.

"Well you look like shit too," Hijikata finally looked at the other man.

Gintoki lazily smiled at him in response, "Don't be like that, Hijikata-kun. Gin-san appreciates your help."

"Yeah well, now you and your perm owe me one."

Gintoki did not know this but Hijikata had to undress him and clean all the dirt and grime off of him before the doctor could take care of the wound properly.

"Naturally and I will ignore the perm comment for now. That hurts Gin-san's feelings you know?" Gintoki's voice picked up a little after a moment, "How about a drink?"

"You don't need to be drinking in your condition," Hijikata ordered.

"Nah. The booze will be good for keeping the wound clean," Gintoki swatted the air lazily.

Hijikata could not refrain, for the life of him, from rolling his eyes at his companion's absurd logic, "I'm starting to doubt you ever catch colds."

Gintoki laughed at him, "Hijikata-kun can make jokes. I never would have thought."

Hijikata didn't respond and instead turned back to the dark landscape. He hadn't had time to send word to Kondou that he was just in town. He didn't doubt that they would be a little concerned about him but this wasn't the first time he'd taken off for a couple of days.

Gintoki shifted beside him and Hijikata could see him watching him out of the corner of his eye. What the hell was he looking at?

"You're staring," Hijikata stated without turning to look at Gintoki. He didn't want to get caught up in those red eyes again.

Gintoki chuckled, "I couldn't help but notice," he reached over to Hijikata slowly and grazed the spot Paako had marked, "Hijikata-kun's been busy."

Hijikata's eyes widened and he hit Gintoki's hand away from him. Heat bloomed across his cheeks and he glared at the knowing grin on the idiot's face.

"Bastard! That's none of your business," Hijikata growled as he attempted but failed to cover the mark with his kimono. He could see that the action only amused Gintoki even more.

"No need to be hostile, Hijikata-kun," Gintoki drawled, "Must have been quite the woman to get passed your surly personality. Sometimes all we need is a good woman though. Or man, I suppose. Don't you think?"

Gintoki was looking at him with those eyes again. Hijikata didn't want to know what they were trying to say. A part of him kept telling him to punch the bastard and leave and never see him again. Yet, this other, entirely idiotic, part of himself that Gintoki had somehow already managed to break through to was telling Hijikata to stay. These conflicting feelings were annoying. Hijikata had no idea how to deal with them. He really had no fucking idea what they even were.

He looked away before replying, "Still, none of your business."

"Aww, come on. Gin-san wants details," the white haired man implored as he tugged on the hem of Hijikata's kimono, "She must have been very attractive. I don't think just anyone can take advantage of Hijikata-kun."

Hijikata pulled his leg and kimono back and away from Gintoki's hand to hang them over the edge of the walkway they were sitting on. Gintoki also did not need to know he shared similar qualities to Paako whatsoever. Some of the finer details were a little fuzzy but he knew, he remembered knowing her features had reminded him of the white haired samurai.

"You have way too much energy for someone that just about died. I should have left you there to bleed to death, Sakata," Hijikata muttered in an attempt to change the subject.

"Ne, Hijikata-kun that's so mean. You don't really mean that do you?" Gintoki began, "Also, you must call me Gin-san. It's Gin-san. Repeat after me: Gin-san." He enunciated the syllables.

Hijikata glared at the other man, "I'm not calling you that."

"Ah, well it's a start," Gintoki sighed, "Hijikata-kun has never said my name before."

Hijikata took a moment to think about that. This was only the third time they had met. Even if they had spent the better part of a day together, it had only been twice before today. He hadn't exactly thought about it at all if he was going to be honest with himself. He just found the enigma that was Gintoki rather curious. He hadn't met another samurai as skilled, carefree and incredibly absurd all at the same time. He actually wasn't sure how all of that fit into one person.

"I suppose I haven't. We are still technically strangers," the black haired man responded.

Gintoki smiled wistfully, "Nah. You and I are old souls. That's why I'm drawn to you," he paused, "and why you're drawn to me."

To say Hijikata was surprised by the honest declaration would be an understatement. He couldn't even hide his shock as his blue eyes made contact with Gintoki's.

"I'm going to disembowel you and leave you here to die in your own bloody mess," was all Hijikata could say as he moved to stand and retrieve his sword. Rather than contemplate the words—than to deal with them—Hijikata opted to lash out. He was feeling cornered and fucking vulnerable again. How the hell did Gintoki do that?!

Gintoki grabbed Hijikata's kimono again, halting his ascension and urging him to sit down.

"No need to run away, Hijikata-kun," Gintoki spoke quietly, "It's natural for people to fall for Gin-san."

"Do you even know what you're saying? I'm a man!" Hijikata was getting angrier.

"What does being a man have to do with anything?" Gintoki pondered aloud, "We are free to live as we please. Love who we please, no? Life is short, Hijikata-kun. You can't run away from it forever."

"You talk like an old man," Hijikata remarked as his anger slowly subsided. He didn't like being put on the spot like that. If anyone but Gintoki had done and said the things he did, Hijikata would have throttled them and left. But for some unknown reason, Gintoki could handle his volatile personality.

"I had a good teacher," Gintoki said quietly and then added, "Plus, I'm probably a little older than you. That makes me your senpai and therefore, I am naturally wiser."

Hijikata snorted, "You're an idiot."

"So I've been told but that's what you like about me."

Hijikata was not sure he was entirely comfortable that Gintoki could manipulate him like this. Most of his anger had subsided and he was calm enough to resume their conversation despite the topic that had made him uncomfortable in the first place. He studied the man beside him and contemplated everything he had said.

Why didn't he just leave? He would have been long gone had any other man implied such explicit things to him. Maybe Gintoki was right, but maybe he was also wrong. The white-haired samurai had this unfathomable ability to make sense despite all of the senselessness. He was so convincing and Hijikata wanted to punch him for it.

"I think I'll take you up on that drink." This, in and of itself, was no way to solve his predicament but he didn't plan on getting plastered like he had at the teahouse the other night.

"Sounds good to me. Do you mind going to grab some from the innkeeper?" Gintoki asked as he glanced at a dark shadow he noticed amidst the garden.

"You can barely walk. What makes you think you can go and get it?" Hijikata rebuked.

Gintoki chuckled, "Gin-san was just trying to be polite."

Hijikata rolled his eyes and pushed himself up to standing using the support beam for leverage, "I'll be right back."

Gintoki watched him walk away until he turned the corner towards the entrance to the inn. Once he was sure he was gone, he turned serious red eyes towards the shadow in the garden.

"Make it quick," he said quietly.

The darkness moved and a figure silently made its way towards him. A man stepped into the light. He had long black hair that fell over a dark green hakama that covered his armour. Dark eyes studied Gintoki for a moment before he even spoke.

"You look terrible."

"What do you want, Zura?" Gintoki stared at him with his dead fish eyes as he readjusted his position to lean on the support beam opposite the one Hijikata had been sitting by.

"It's not Zura. It's Katsura," the dark haired man corrected, "You're, we're being summoned."

"I'm dead," Gintoki waved his hand lazily, "Tell them that."

"You're playing house with the enemy. That's far from dead," Katsura frowned at him.

"He's not the enemy. Besides, the mission failed. We're not getting another chance for Matsudaira. Whether he dies or not won't make a difference. They'll just find someone to take his place."

"Anyone involved with that man is the enemy, Gintoki. We need to find Sensei. We must do whatever it takes."

"Aren't you tired of all the killing, Zura?" Gintoki looked at him seriously this time, "Sensei wouldn't want this for us."

"They're going to kill him, Gintoki. We have to find him," Katsura raised his voice slightly, "We can't do nothing."

The severity of his tone only served to increase the tension in the air. Gintoki nodded at his comrade, "I'll catch up tomorrow. Need to give this thing a night to heal anyways," he gestured at his bandaged torso.

"Shinsuke is going to be angry."

"Shinsuke is always angry. I'll meet you at the camp tomorrow, late morning. If you leave me a horse, it won't take as long," Gintoki sighed, signaling he was done with the conversation.

"You can take mine," Katsura said as he turned to leave, "Don't get too caught up in whatever you're doing here, Gintoki. If he's not the enemy now, he will be eventually."

"Mind your own business, Zura."

The black haired man didn't respond as he slipped into the darkness. Gintoki watched him glide through the shadows until he was sure he was gone.

"Did I miss something?" Hijikata asked as he looked down at Gintoki. He was carrying a tray with two bottles of sake and two cups.

"No. I need to leave in the morning," Gintoki gestured for Hijikata to take a seat beside him, "I didn't realize you were back."

"A friend of yours?" Hijikata questioned as he sat down and placed the tray between them. He took one of the bottles and poured for both of them.

"Of sorts. Grew up together so I guess. Didn't think they'd find me, to be honest," Gintoki chuckled as he took his cup gratefully and took a drink, "They must be on to us."

"There is no us," Hijikata said as he drank his own sake. The slight burn felt nice going down his throat.

"Aww, don't be like that, Hijikata-kun," Gintoki frowned, "Denying it will only make things harder than they need to be."

"So you're leaving tomorrow?" The black haired man ignored Gintoki's innuendo.

"Ah, yes. I'm being summoned. Probably won't be around for a while. So this will be your last chance to attack me like you said you were going to."

"You never give up, do you?" Hijikata grumbled at the white haired man who only laughed at his embarrassment.

"It's because Gin-san likes Hijikata-kun. Maybe a little too much."

"You're way too honest."

"But you like that about me too," Gintoki nudged Hijikata's arm with his hand. Maybe, Hijikata thought, he let it linger there for too long.

Gintoki let go and poured them both another cup. He seemed rather content despite coming so close to death. Hijikata could not help but feel the respect for the man beside him grow significantly. He had his shortcomings but when it came down to it, Gintoki was insightful and wise beyond his years. Now this is something that he would never tell the other man. It would only serve to fuel his ego that was already big enough for the both of them in Hijikata's opinion.

"When do you think you'll be back?" The black haired man chose to ignore Gintoki's statement.

"Not sure, really. Depends on the boss, I guess. Will Hijikata-kun be giving me a goodbye kiss?"

Gintoki was looking at him with those knowing red eyes and Hijikata had to fight the flush that was trying to invade his cheeks.

"I won't kiss another man," Hijikata couldn't look at Gintoki's eyes anymore.

"Why not?" Gintoki frowned as though Hijikata had said the strangest thing he'd ever heard, "It's not like I'm a stranger."

"It's not natural," Hijikata couldn't believe he had to explain this.

"Of course it is. It feels nice. I guarantee a nice kiss from Gin-san."

Hijikata snorted, "You're such an idiot."

"Just you wait, Hijikata-kun," Gintoki grinned, "I'm gonna ask you again later on tonight and you won't be able to say no."

"And I will ask you if you want to die because if you try anything like that, I'll kill you where you sit."

Gintoki only laughed at him. The two young men continued to comfortably share drinks over the course of the evening. Gintoki told him stories about his comrades and childhood friends who weren't really friends but apparently they liked to think they were. He had told him about his sensei and how he had taken him in when he was a child. Gintoki had talked most of the night but after some prodding, Hijikata opened up a very tiny bit. Just enough for Gintoki to learn about Kondou and his dojo. And finally, after some more urging on Gintoki's end, Hijikata spoke of Paako.

"Ah, so you did meet a nice girl," the fact didn't seem to bother Gintoki, "Was she pretty?"

"Don't know to be honest," Hijikata shrugged as he continued, "Just remember being attracted to her."

"What did she look like," Gintoki was pressing him for answers and he waited as Hijikata thought about it.

"Can't remember," Hijikata lied. He was not drunk enough to give away those details, "Exotic, I suppose. She left her hair piece in my bag."

"Ah. A memento," Gintoki said in understanding, "You should return it to her."

"She's gone. I probably won't see her again."

"Did she tell you where she was going?" Gintoki continued to question him.

"Edo. I'm not going to go out to look for her, bastard," Hijikata clarified taking another drink of his sake. He had a nice buzz right now.

"Well she wants you to return it to her, ne?" Gintoki suggested, "Hijikata-kun is so popular. How am I going to compete with some exotic woman?"

Hijikata sniggered and he knew it was the alcohol speaking when he said this, "She stole my heart. You're just going to have to give up on me, Sakata."

"It's Gin-san, Hijikata-kun. And, no," Gintoki lowered his voice so that it was husky as he moved closer to the slightly inebriated Hijikata, "I won't give up on you."

He reached up and began to idly play with Hijikata's long black hair. The feeling it sent through Hijikata's body felt nice. He knew he should tell him to stop—to smack his hand away from him—but he couldn't. That hand—that strong hand—moved from his hair and was placed gently over his left cheek. Gintoki's thumb gently stroked his cheekbone as his hand tilted Hijikata's head up. How the hell had he gotten that close to him? His red eyes sought the acquiescence he wanted deep within Hijikata's stormy blue eyes. He must have found it and Hijikata wasn't exactly sure how but before he knew it, Gintoki's surprisingly soft lips captured his own in a gentle oh so very chaste kiss. Gintoki was testing the waters as it were because once he studied Hijikata's flushed features for a moment after they broke apart, he dove in for another and another. And Hijikata responded fervently grabbing a hold of Gintoki's shoulders and pulling him closer until Gintoki's warmth seemed to wrap around him as he lost himself in this moment they were sharing.

Gintoki wasn't forceful in any way. The younger man was already skittish enough and he figured if he put too much pressure on him, he'd bolt. Despite that nervousness, Hijikata was pliant and submissive to his gentle encouragement and it pleased him to no end. And Gintoki took all he could get while he could. To be honest, he was surprised Hijikata had let him get this far. He'd been so adamant about being a man, Gintoki had been concerned he'd never get an opportunity to do this. But here he was, kissing this surly samurai under the bright light of the moon.

He chuckled at his own romantic musing and Hijikata pulled away.

Gintoki looked, no admired, the man before him. His face was flushed, breathless and he was most definitely embarrassed much like how he'd been when he kissed him at the teahouse. The hint of anger Gintoki could see, and he wanted to laugh but didn't, was probably a result of his aforementioned chuckle.

"What's so funny?" Hijikata glared at him.

Gintoki found himself smiling as he ran his fingers through Hijikata's feathered bangs and shook his head, "Nothing. I just really like Hijikata-kun."

Hijikata looked away. He still couldn't handle looking Gintoki in the eye, "I think we should stop."

"I thought you'd say that," Gintoki mused as his fingers took hold of Hijikata's chin and turned him back to face him, "Just one more. Hijikata-kun made Gin-san very happy today."

He leaned in and Hijikata let him capture his lips once more. Hijikata did not know what to make of any of it. Here he was, sitting far too close to another man, letting him violate his personal space and his reason. But Gintoki's familiar smell was so intoxicating, his voice resonated deep within him and those lips. They moved with precision and Hijikata found he couldn't help but want more of everything Gintoki was offering him at this moment. Which was why they needed to stop. He had already let this go too far and he was afraid he wouldn't be able to come back. He didn't understand how it was so easy to get so caught up in Gintoki's rhythm.

When they broke apart, Gintoki leaned his forehead against Hijikata's. They were panting quietly and it was he who spoke first.

"You should go home tonight."

"Yeah," Hijikata agreed.

"I can take care of the room. Gin-san appreciates your help today, Hijikata-kun," he pulled back and genuinely looked at him, "I won't forget it."

Sense was slowly starting to come back to Hijikata and he was getting more and more uncomfortable with their closeness. Gintoki could sense this too and mussed Hijikata's hair with his hand who in turn swatted at it.

"You need to relax more. The sake did you some good today and Gin-san is glad to have been able to kiss you."

"You…" Hijikata began but Gintoki interrupted him.

"The next time I see you, Hijikata-kun, I'd like to kiss you again. So make sure you don't forget me."

Hijikata's eyes widened and he turned away from Gintoki's gaze, his discomfiture ever more prevalent.

"Don't say embarrassing things," he muttered, "What makes you think this is going to happen again?"

Gintoki hummed, "Because Hijikata-kun really likes Gin-san too."

"You don't know that."

"Oh, but I do."

Gintoki was so audacious and it annoyed Hijikata to no end because, for the most part, the idiot made some kind of point. Again, it was that senseless sense he had. What the hell was that anyways?

Hijikata chose not to finish their conversation and instead, stood up to leave. Gintoki held onto his kimono to stop his departure.

"Can't promise I will be back but I want to, Hijikata-kun." There was a seriousness to his tone that Hijikata understood immediately. As samurai, they faced death on a day to day basis. From what little he knew about Gintoki, the man was directly involved in the war that Hijikata had opted to stay out of. Thinking about this, Hijikata could see where Gintoki's view of life and death came from and he found himself respecting the man even more.

Gintoki looked up at him and smiled, "Don't forget to live and protect what you live for, Hijikata-kun," he said as he let go of Hijikata's kimono.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama.

Rating: M

Pairing: Gintoki x Hijikata

 **Warnings: A little of this and a little of that. It's not too explicit but it's there. Be warned.**

Author's Notes: Thank you, CucumberKun (www fanfiction net/u/807202/CucumberKun) for beta-ing this story.

This is the final chapter. I'm so happy I actually finished a multi-chapter fic. It's short but whatever. This was a major feat for me. Woo! I had a blast writing this. My skills are still a bit rusty but hopefully practice makes perfect.

This fic can stand alone as its own story. However, I am currently working on a second part that ties into where the Gintama anime starts and it will connect with some of the arcs. I'm hoping it will work. I've already run into a few bumps. Haha. I only have three chapters of that one finished and it looks like it will be longer than this one. So that's a good thing.

Thank you all for reading my fic!

And a huge thank you goes to those who reviewed! -hugs- I appreciate all of your wonderful comments.

freekielliie: Gintoki sure does have a knack for attracting our surly samurai. I really tried to keep them in character. I definitely had a tough time with that. I hope you enjoy the last chapter.

Chapter 06 – No Man is Island, He's a Mountain

It was early October when the war had ended with the Amanto. Word had gotten around to the general population that the new shogun had signed a peace treaty with the aliens and set up exclusive trade agreements as well as a permit to reside within Japan.

So soon, it would be not be uncommon to see strange looking beastlike creatures out and about in public. There had been a general discontent amongst the people more so with the rebel factions but many others were just happy the fighting was over.

With this new peace agreement, Kondou had confirmed their dojo would be moving to Edo not long after the treaty was signed. They were to become a policing force, the Shinesengumi, of the Bakufu. There would be lots of work recruiting and training men for each squad and redeveloping the laws for them to enforce that also would include the Amanto. It was going to be a busy first few years getting the whole thing going.

Hijikata was sitting in his spot within his grove. Sougo had been on his case the last few days about Mitsuba, he needed a break. The quiet woman had been a little more persistent, so much so that Sougo couldn't help but make it clear she was off limits to Hijikata. And he knew that well enough. Little did the brat know he'd made his decision about her long ago.

Women were so fickle and so were their younger overprotective brothers.

And then there was Gintoki. Just the thought of the other man pissed him off as of late. No, it was not because he missed the bastard. He did not miss him. He was not worried about him either. Hijikata wasn't some wife of some samurai awaiting her beloved's return. Fuck that.

He was starting to get aggravated.

Gintoki had left as he said he would back before summer began. He knew that it had been a goodbye of sorts. With the end of the war, Hijikata couldn't help but wonder if Gintoki had survived or if he was dead, rotting somewhere on those countless battlefields having died a warriors death.

It's not the fact Gintoki had left. It's not the fact he could be dead. Those are not what bothered the surly samurai. It was the fact Gintoki had made these strange and foreign feelings develop within him that he couldn't analyze well enough to decipher. It was the fact that Hijikata could tell himself that he felt _something_ for the white haired man. What that _something_ was could be left up for debate but he knew it was there, lingering, simmering, and waiting to come to the surface.

Fucking bastard and his stupid natural perm hair.

Hijikata needed a drink or something to ease his mind. Maybe he should try smoking.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath allowing the growing rage to subside. He should enjoy this place while he could. He wouldn't be here much longer. The autumn colours brightened up the area and the falling leaves no unlike the petals in the spring, made the grove so ethereal—magical.

A light breeze made its way through the grove and the dry leaves began to rustle above him causing a few to float and glide through the moving air. He watched them swirl and twist as they descended to the ground. Hijikata picked up a leaf that had landed near him and studied its varying shades of red.

If one cannot appreciate the beauty of nature for every bit of peace it offers, then that is a life well wasted. He supposed so anyways.

He would miss this place.

Idly, he wondered if Gintoki missed it too.

.oOo.

Throughout October, word had it that all of Japan was holding festivals in commemoration of the end of the war. Each town and city had their own celebration. The shogunate wanted to bring up the morale amongst the population. Regardless of the end of the war, many samurai and innocent people had died.

Bushuu was no different. There would be stalls of food and games, performances and fireworks. Bushuu had spared no expense in decorating, Hijikata noted as he walked through the throngs of people alongside Mitsuba. She had insisted on walking with him even though he had clearly declined. Sougo had also made it clear he would be chaperone, which was of no problem to Hijikata.

"Nee-san!" Okita shouted as they came up the goldfish game, "Let's try this one out!"

Hijikata stood aside and watched the siblings try and catch goldfish. He had no interest in these sorts of things but if it made her happy, he would deal with it.

The streets were lined and lit with red lanterns crisscrossing over the walkways. It was not quite dark yet but they lanterns were slowly being lit. It was beginning to cast a pleasant glow overhead as the sky began to darken.

Sougo and Mitsuba walked up to him each holding a bowl containing a fish. They looked at him pleadingly, well Mitsuba did. Sougo was threatening him with his eyes. That kid was going to be trouble when he got older.

"I'm not holding those for either of you," Hijikata muttered as he crossed his arms and turned away from them.

Not two minutes later, Hijikata was following Sougo and Mitsuba down the street holding their bowls containing their goldfish. And it wasn't long before he was carrying bags full of snacks and prizes from each stall the siblings decided to look and or play at.

Mitsuba and Sougo were currently playing a ring toss game. The boy wanted to win the bokuto and both were trying to unsuccessfully throw a ring onto the bottle in the centre. After Sougo demanded more money from Hijikata, the dark-haired man gave him some more before putting their stuff down beside them and moving on to look at the next stall.

It was a small shop like any other but this particular one was selling masks. There were varying types that he looked at, not really interested but he was already tired of watching Sougo lose. Many of the masks were brightly coloured but there was one in particular that caught his eye. There was really no reason it should have but he picked it up nonetheless. It was a white kitsune. He was a little surprised because kitsune tended to be feared these days.

 _Wise, faithful, but untrustworthy._ It was quite the contradiction.

It was a little odd for the vendor to be even selling a kitsune mask. Hijikata doubted anyone would buy it. He placed it back down and went to see if Mitsuba and Sougo were done.

She was waiting for him in the middle of the street, carrying her bowl. Sougo was nowhere to be seen. He sent her a questioning look and she hid her laugh behind her sleeve.

"He's hungry so I gave him some money to get us some food. Shall we?" Mitsuba gestured in the direction she sent Sougo.

Hijikata nodded and walked alongside her. He offered to take her fish bowl but she shook her head. She held her bowl in her left hand and linked her right arm with Hijikata's. He stiffened a little but couldn't deny her. She looked too happy. Night had completely fallen and the lanterns cast a reddish glow along the street. Hijikata quite liked them.

"The fireworks should be starting soon," Mitsuba said thoughtfully, "I'd like to see them before we go."

Hijikata nodded as he continued to walk. They were headed towards Bushuu's central garden. The fireworks would be held there. However, Mitsuba stopped walking causing Hijikata to turn and look at her.

"What is it?" He asked.

People were walking past them on both sides. It was actually too crowded for Hijikata but he couldn't say no to her request to come here. Mitsuba was giving him a strange look, almost pleading. She was nervous. If her shaking arm was any indication. Hijikata instinctively reached towards her and checked her forehead with the back of his hand.

"Are you not well? Should I take you home?" He began to question.

Mitsuba shook her head and smiled at him. He frowned as she stepped closer to him. He took a hold of the edge of his kimono, tiptoed up and kissed his cheek. He definitely hadn't expected that and looked at her with slightly widened eyes. Mitsuba was blushing.

"Oi, bastard! Don't touch her!" Sougo shouted as he threw his sandal at Hijikata's head.

He caught it with ease but before he could do or say anything, Hijikata caught a glimpse of white moving within the crowd. His sharp eyes tried to follow it but it disappeared. He scanned the rest of the crowd around him. It felt as though it could be a threat and he put his hand on his sword, attempting to focus on the blood lust that was approaching.

Another flash of white appeared to his left and he looked. Nothing. Then it was behind him and he turned but again, it was gone. He could hear Mitsuba scolding her brother in the background but he couldn't focus on it. Whatever or whomever was trying to attack him was going to strike soon.

Mitsuba turned her attention back to Hijikata and found him to be completely absorbed with something else. She went to place her hand on his face to turn him back to her but before she could even touch him, a glimmer of white appeared suddenly and before she even knew what was going on, Hijikata was gone. She turned about her but she couldn't find him. He had disappeared into the crowd. Frowning, she turned back to her ornery brother to placate his anger.

.oOo.

A strong hand had grabbed his wrist and was dragging him through the crowds of people in the street and away from Mitsuba and Sougo. Most of his concentration was focused on not bumping into people and tripping over his feet. Whoever had his hand was fast but was also skillfully weaving through the crowd. When he could catch a glimpse of the culprit, all he saw was white.

When Hijikata tried to pull his hand out of the other person's grip, it only tightened and pulled harder. He was certain if this person wanted him dead, he'd have tried to kill him by now. But seriously, what the fuck?

They ran until they made it through all the crowds and Hijikata was led towards the outer edge of the central garden away from the festival. They were on a rock path under the arches where the wisteria bloomed in the summer. This area wasn't being used for the festival and wasn't lit at all. The only light they had was from the half crescent moon in the starry sky.

The person in white was not facing him when his hand was released but his white clothing glowed in the moonlight. Judging from his stature, he was a man.

"Who are you? And why the fuck did you drag me out here?" Hijikata demanded as he withdrew his sword.

The man didn't speak as he turned to face Hijikata. He was surprised to find the man wearing the kitsune mask he had been looking at earlier. The man in white stepped forward as Hijikata lifted his sword and pointed it towards the stranger.

The man in white tilted his head and took another step forward.

"I will cut you down where you stand. Now answer me!" Hijikata seethed.

A hand reached out from the sleeve of the white kimono was wearing and gently touched the tip of Hijikata's blade. Soothing fingers moved from the tip to the side of the blade and calmly pressed down, urging Hijikata to lower his katana. As the man did this, he stepped closer until he was right in front of Hijikata reaching up to cup his face with his right hand.

A familiar scent flooded the dark-haired man's senses as realization struck.

"You," he whispered.

The man behind the mask chuckled, "No, you."

"What are you doing here?" Hijikata pulled away from Gintoki's touch.

"I've come to claim what's mine," Gintoki was grinning when he slid the mask up to rest on top of his wavy white hair but something was off about him. Hijikata wasn't sure but it wasn't quite right.

Before Hijikata could respond, Gintoki had swooped in and captured his lips in a heated kiss. It was forced and not like what he remembered it to be. There was an anger to it and the dark-haired man did not want to give Gintoki the control he was seeking. So he bit his lip.

Gintoki grunted and pulled away and Hijikata punched his left cheek. Gintoki was knocked back and onto the ground.

"Ow, ow, ow. What was that for, Hijikata-kun?" Gintoki grumbled as he looked up at the dark haired man, wiping the blood from his lips with his sleeve.

Then he saw it.

Hijikata squatted down in front of Gintoki, resting his arms on his thighs, as he scrutinized him. He didn't say a word and the white-haired man was getting visibly uncomfortable with it. Gintoki finally looked away from him unable to handle the obvious examination. Hijikata silently waited for Gintoki to turn to face him again.

When he did, Hijikata reached forward and flicked his forehead through his wavy hair.

"Ouch," Gintoki frowned and rubbed his forehead.

"You're an idiot," Hijikata finally spoke as he stood up and reached his hand out to the man below him.

Gintoki took his proffered hand and Hijikata helped him stand. He didn't even bother dusting himself off as he approached the dark-haired man. This time, however, Gintoki just stepped into Hijikata's space and rested his head on the other man's shoulder. His familiar smell drifting over Hijikata's senses. As the coldness of the mask in Gintoki's hair pressed against his cheek. He seemed a lot broader than the last time he had seen him. They were still the same height but he presumed all of Gintoki's fighting had further developed his body.

"Care to explain?" He mumbled as he attempted to force away the impending blush from their close proximity that threatened to overtake his pale skin.

"I'm tired," Gintoki admitted as he rested his hands on Hijikata's hips, "and maybe a little jealous."

Hijikata tried to pull away but Gintoki held fast and refused to let him move. His actions didn't have the forcefulness behind them this time so the dark haired man relented and let Gintoki hold him.

"You're being childish," Hijikata stated before adding, "and stupid."

"Maybe. But you care about her, don't you?" Gintoki turned his head to face Hijikata's neck, his breath fanning the sensitive skin there.

"Yes," and Hijikata felt Gintoki's hands tighten around his hips slightly at his honesty. He didn't feel the need to get into details regarding Mitsuba. She had no part in whatever it was he and Gintoki shared.

"But Hijikata-kun also likes Gin-san too," Gintoki's voice dropped a few decibels into an overly familiar husky tone Hijikata was no stranger to.

"That," he paused, "is to be debated." He turned his face away as Gintoki's head popped up and stared at him in question.

"Eh? Really?"

Hijikata let the fact go that they would not be talking about what had happened the last few months. They would not be talking about that lost, lonely, and lifelessness Hijikata had found swirling within Gintoki's eyes when he had first taken off the mask. His once vibrant red hue was stained with a darkness he could not quite comprehend. A silent understanding had been made.

"Who knows," was his response.

Gintoki slid his face closer to Hijikata's neck and smiled against the skin there, inhaling his scent. The shiver that coursed through Hijikata was enough to encourage the white-haired man to press a feather light kiss against his pulse point. Hijikata swallowed sharply and refrained from biting his lower lip.

How he had gotten himself in this position with this other man, he did not know. He found himself getting caught up in Gintoki's pace again like no time had passed since their last meeting. And it had been so easy to do so. Too easy, he thought as Gintoki's right hand moved from his hip to slide up his abdomen, over his chest and up to grab a hold of his chin gently. The white-haired samurai stood up and regarded him with his darkened eyes.

Hijikata couldn't say a damn thing as a bright flash lit up the darkened sky above them and a loud bang reverberated through the air. He moved to look up but didn't have a chance to because Gintoki's hand kept his head in place as he leaned forward and took his lips with a reckless abandon Hijikata was unprepared for. He found his own lips moving in sync with Gintoki's insistent ones, not really sure how he was able to even keep up with the other man.

Gintoki guided them backwards until Hijikata's back hit the support column of the arch they were standing under. He found his hands had taken a hold of Gintoki's mess of tangled wavy hair more than likely to, and he would take this to his grave, support himself as Gintoki overwhelmed him with his growing intensity. He could feel Gintoki's hands roam up and down and around him. He was everywhere all at once and Hijikata allowed himself to lose his very being to this man that had broken down his walls and made a place for himself within them.

This is the only reason why Hijikata found himself on a futon in a small inn he'd already forgotten the name of with Gintoki moving over him—inside him. Hijikata was grasping the bigger man's back, his legs around his waist in a meagre attempt of trying to keep himself grounded as the myriad of feelings assaulted his very existence. It fucking hurt. It was as simple as that. But, Gintoki was smiling at him, kissing him, shamelessly watching him and saying his name. His red eyes were glowing that familiar burning red. Every once in a while, when he pushed in a certain way, it sent an indescribably delicious wave of pleasure throughout his body.

He would gasp and moan in response, encouraging Gintoki to make him feel that again. And when he did, Hijikata's nails would grip and dig into the white-haired man's back leaving red crescents or burning lines wherever he scratched. They were young and inexperienced. Hijikata more so than Gintoki if this whole situation was any clue. If he didn't know better, Gintoki had probably done this before. That thought was pushed aside when Gintoki hit that spot within him again and he lost himself as those persistent lips captured his own. They were messy now and needy and neither man seemed to care.

Their slick bodies moved together filling the room with gasps, moans, and flesh hitting flesh. Hijikata's inexperience threw them off a few times but Gintoki worked with it and managed to steadily increase their pace. Gintoki's hand reached between their bodies and grabbed a hold of him moving in time with his thrusts. It took only a moment before Hijikata cried out as his orgasm ripped through his body. Red eyes were locked on with blue. The white-haired samurai followed soon after, emptying himself within the confines of Hijikata's body.

Both men were breathless and panting, basking in the afterglow of their lovemaking as the air began to cool their overheated and sweaty bodies. Hijikata was having a difficult time looking the other man in the eye. Embarrassment was slowly creeping up as his senses began to return to normal. Gintoki only laughed at his uneasiness and leaned down to kiss him again. He pulled out slowly as he did this and Hijikata had to break their kiss at the weird feeling. He could also feel Gintoki wipe away the mess on his stomach with the blanket long since pushed aside.

Gintoki remained on top of Hijikata for a little longer to nuzzle the crook of his neck and shamelessly inhale his scent. The dark-haired man shivered at the movement of air against his damp skin.

"Stop that," Hijikata's voice was quiet.

Gintoki leaned up a bit to look his at his lover's face and said wistfully, "Gin-san wants to remember your smell."

Hijikata didn't say anything at first.

"You're leaving again." It was a statement. Hijikata got over his awkwardness and finally returned Gintoki's gaze, challenging him to deny it.

And it was Gintoki who looked away this time unable to handle the gravity of Hijikata's stormy blue eyes. He pushed himself up to sit facing away from the dark haired man but failed to hide his expression from him as he did so. There was something dark about it. And something despondent. Hijikata also sat up, wincing a little at the pain in his lower extremities as he crossed his legs and studied Gintoki's strong, naked back. There were multiple scars adorning his skin, the scratch marks he had just left, and from this angle, he could see the top of the thick scar from that day he dragged Gintoki out of the grove back to Bushuu.

Silence befell the pair. Gintoki would shift every once in a while and the muscles in his back would undulate with each movement. The white-haired samurai took a deep breath before turning to look at Hijikata again.

Gintoki forced out a laugh but the smile that followed did not reach his eyes. His red orbs became muddled and dull. Gintoki had been very difficult for Hijikata to read since that first day they met but today the white-haired man had very little defenses up.

"I lost," was all he said.

He didn't have to say anything else. Hijikata understood the innumerable meanings behind those two words. A war had just ended. Everyone had lost something. And, Gintoki being that nonchalant idiot he is, was now silently questioning his own existence. Hijikata didn't know, and may never know, the severity of what this man had gone through but he knew enough not to press him any further until Gintoki's intentions became clear.

"You can't use me as an anchor to your past," Hijikata said quietly, understanding why Gintoki had sought him out. Hijikata was his last link to before the end of the war.

"I know," Gintoki responded, "That's why I won't stay."

Gintoki turned around fully and kneeled in front of Hijikata. He reached his hand towards him and traced lines across Hijikata's torso with his rough, calloused fingers. The dark-haired man looked down to find his neck, chest and abdomen littered with sporadic kiss marks from their previous activities. Hijikata couldn't even hide the flush that inflamed his cheeks at the fact the idiot was playing connect-the-dot with the hickies he'd left. His hand paused on a mark where his collarbone met his neck.

"I'd like to meet you again one day, Hijikata-kun," Gintoki caught his gaze, "Maybe then you could give me back the hair clip I left with you."

There was a moment of silence and Hijikata just shook his head.

"I thought that was you."

"Oh! So you knew?" Gintoki was surprised.

"I was drunk but I'm not stupid," Hijikata left out the fact it took him a lot longer than it should have to figure it out. He looked away again, slightly embarrassed at himself.

"You can go now."

"But Gin-san wants to spend the whole night with Hijikata-kun," Gintoki had his hand on Hijikata's chest and was urging him to lay down again.

They didn't have sex again that night. Hijikata figured Gintoki was aware of the massive amount of pain radiating from his backside. They just remained in each other's company. Mostly in silence but Gintoki would start a conversation here and there. Hijikata would respond, sometimes he wouldn't and he'd just let the other man talk. Hijikata hadn't realized just how comfortable he was around Gintoki. So much so, he'd ended up falling asleep to the sound of Gintoki's voice.

When he woke up there were warm, soft lips pressed against his own. They were gone before he could even react to them. Not that his sleep muddled mind cared.

Hijikata mumbled something unintelligible earning him a chuckle from Gintoki who only kissed him quickly again. The dark-haired man heard him get up from the futon and walk towards the door. It slid open and Gintoki stepped out.

"Gintoki," Hijikata murmured groggily as he rolled onto his side allowing sleep to overcome him.

Gintoki paused and smiled to himself. _Goodbye, Hijikata-kun._

.oOo.

Hijikata hadn't been surprised to wake up and find Gintoki had left before dawn the next day. It hadn't bothered him at all. He understood the battle the other man was having with himself all too well even if he didn't know what had happened.

He was no woman. He wouldn't pine over the white-haired idiot.

Hijikata wouldn't even be in Bushuu should Gintoki ever return. They were leaving for Edo in a few days.

He was sitting by the open door and idly observed the autumn-reddened garden outside not really looking at anything in particular. There was a dull ache in his lower back that he found rather fucking annoying— _that curly-haired bastard_. He wasn't going to think about it anymore than he needed to either. Hijikata thought it was best to store those feelings and memories in a vault and move on.

He had a new life waiting for him in Edo with the Shinsengumi. He would be lying if he said he wasn't looking forward to it. Kondou-san had ensured their future and he would work hard to make sure their police force was a success.

Perm-haired idiot or not.

"Heh. Bastard."


End file.
